How to deal with Toilet Paper shortage

[entropy12]

1. Number every square on a roll. Hang a log book near the roll. Every person using paper from roll must record usage by numbers on roll. Identify the biggest users. Quarantine them for a day for each offense.

2. Visitors must bring their own. Remove yours before they go in. Organize a BYOTP party (bring your own toilet paper party)

3. Study your dogs' behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.

4. Visit rest rooms in local shopping malls, fast food places. Check TP is available before you sit down. Steal as much as you can. Bad luck when it runs out, this is WAR!

5. Buy baby bum wipes. Clear the shelves!

6. Rest assured that if you are holed up, when your 4 weeks' worth of food runs out, your use of TP will decrease markedly. Most of your six months' worth of TP will go unused.

[Huskrrrr]

Two months I’ll be buying TP on sale, prices lower than before the virus.

[aquila48]

NYSlimes, LAT, the Compost or any of your local dailies.

[aquila48]

Red neck bidet!

[johnthebaptistmoore]

The Biggest Users, the new hit TV show.

[60Gunner]

Firehose makes for a handy bidet. Cold, but effective.

[60Gunner]

Meant garden hose. But if you’re into a little rough play, well that’s your thing. Not gonna judge.

[joma89]

I have a better way to deal with any shortage. Be a preper, and have some at home already there so you have it when you need it.

I have been buying an extra package of TP for years and my supply will last quite a while.

JoMa

[Catphish]

Here is where Americans should spend their stimulus checks:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078H89R6R/ref=emc_b_5_mob_t

[outofsalt]

[Professional]

Damn, a friend visited my office..he BEGGED for a roll of paper towels. Had I known that I essentially gave up a one bedroom condo... I would have bargained a bit with him.

[joma89]

Thanks for the morning laugh! And by some strange coincidence, I bought some cheese today.

JoMa

[alexander_busek]

Like we been in this county since since 1889.

Oh, latecomers, huh?

Just sit in the back and keep quiet while we real Americans settle things.

:-)

Regards,

[Jimmy Valentine]

Actually this is finally a good use forThe NewYork Times.. All the s$$t that’s fit to print.

[gattaca]

Squirt gun.

[oldasrocks]

The REAL tough guys would use 3 leafed plants.

[oldasrocks]

Fire hose might be better if you are washing someone else off. You could stand farther back.

[Maris Crane]

I just KNEW that was the reason for the shortage.

Some enterprising entrepreneur was thinking like a capitalist.

I love it. No four bedroom house, but how about A CAN OF LYSOL?

[Albion Wilde]

3. Study your dogs' behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.

Or, take a tip from your cat:

[nonsporting]

[Albion Wilde]

Wiping your butt in the grass like your dog will probably alienate the neighbors.

Be a good neighbor. Wipe it on your carpet.