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How to deal with Toilet Paper shortage

Posted on 03/20/2020 7:09:10 PM PDT by entropy12

1. Number every square on a roll. Hang a log book near the roll. Every person using paper from roll must record usage by numbers on roll. Identify the biggest users. Quarantine them for a day for each offense.

2. Visitors must bring their own. Remove yours before they go in. Organize a BYOTP party (bring your own toilet paper party)

3. Study your dogs' behaviour. They get by without toilet paper quite well.

4. Visit rest rooms in local shopping malls, fast food places. Check TP is available before you sit down. Steal as much as you can. Bad luck when it runs out, this is WAR!

5. Buy baby bum wipes. Clear the shelves!

6. Rest assured that if you are holed up, when your 4 weeks' worth of food runs out, your use of TP will decrease markedly. Most of your six months' worth of TP will go unused.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: humor; paper; toilrt
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To: V K Lee

All good substitutes, just avoid trying to flush them down. Sure to cause sewer pipe back ups. Garbage can works better. Or better yet bury those in kitty litter box after use.


61 posted on 03/20/2020 8:22:41 PM PDT by entropy12 (You are either for free enterprise or want gov't to guarantee your wages.)
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To: Pilsner

Looks OK except if you eat all the corn off the cobbs first, you will more of those.


62 posted on 03/20/2020 8:24:32 PM PDT by entropy12 (You are either for free enterprise or want gov't to guarantee your wages.)
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To: entropy12

I don’t share my toilet paper with anybody. If they want to come visit, they’ll bring their own, or they won’t get in.


63 posted on 03/20/2020 8:26:53 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
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To: entropy12
:::::Hang a log book near the roll.:::::

Hang a log, burn a mule, whatever it takes....

64 posted on 03/20/2020 8:29:26 PM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.......)
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To: knarf
Hang yer butt over the edge of the tub and use the shower sprayer

I have been doing that for years. It cleans you better than toilet paper. Then just dry your butt off. There is a reason the French have bidets.

65 posted on 03/20/2020 8:40:09 PM PDT by cpdiii ( canecutter, deckhand, roughneck, geologist, pilot, pharmacist THE CONSTITUTION IS WORTH DYING FOR)
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To: ReaganGeneration2
3 words: New York Times

All these years I thought the New York times had no feasible use. I was wrong!

66 posted on 03/20/2020 8:42:28 PM PDT by cpdiii ( canecutter, deckhand, roughneck, geologist, pilot, pharmacist THE CONSTITUTION IS WORTH DYING FOR)
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To: mass55th

Don’t kid yourself, we are not far from that situation!


67 posted on 03/20/2020 8:44:36 PM PDT by entropy12 (You are either for free enterprise or want gov't to guarantee your wages.)
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To: ConservativeMind

Or from Taco Bell...they are also very thin.


68 posted on 03/20/2020 8:45:22 PM PDT by entropy12 (You are either for free enterprise or want gov't to guarantee your wages.)
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To: cpdiii

I have a bidet faucet attached to the toilet feed ... 8 bucks on the web


69 posted on 03/20/2020 9:02:41 PM PDT by knarf
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To: entropy12

Crap in the street. San Francisco is way ahead on this.


70 posted on 03/20/2020 9:04:31 PM PDT by beethovenfan (Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin)
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To: entropy12

71 posted on 03/20/2020 9:26:36 PM PDT by Bon mots
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To: entropy12

Off subject, but does Jennifer Aniston poop? She’s kinda hot, I’m not sure she does.


72 posted on 03/20/2020 9:29:54 PM PDT by vespa300
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To: beethovenfan

They have now started to eat their own crap in SF. they just did a hand right in the back of their pants and have a meal.


73 posted on 03/20/2020 9:30:19 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

Kind of like a perpetual motion machine - at least until they die.


74 posted on 03/20/2020 9:37:00 PM PDT by beethovenfan (Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin)
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To: Bernard Marx

“Vite! La vache! la vache!” (Monty Python)


75 posted on 03/20/2020 9:38:20 PM PDT by beethovenfan (Mene, Mene, Tekel, Upharsin)
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To: entropy12

I am not so concerned with dealing with the TP problem, as I am curious to know:

WTH HAPPENED. I thought sure after waiting a week to shop for it, that there would be plenty.

In face, we went to three supermarkets, Walmart, Teeter, and Wegmanns and did not find any. So I went to the ABC store
to calm myself down.

What’s the deal. There has to be a rational explanation.

I thought of those persons buying in bulk last week in order to try to make a killing on eBay this week, but that doesn’t make much sense.

WHERE’S ALL THE TP??????


76 posted on 03/20/2020 9:49:11 PM PDT by Maris Crane
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To: Maris Crane

My wife went to the grocery store this week and all the chicken was sold out—crazy right?

So, we had to sacrifice this week and suffer in silence while we ate steak. ;-)

(When people panic they get irrational. I am one of those crazy preppers who always keeps a six month supply of all paper products and a lot of other items on hand. I got into that habit from Y2K!)


77 posted on 03/20/2020 9:59:52 PM PDT by cgbg (BOLO--escaped SNF resident--Joe Biden)
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To: cgbg

Well, cgbg, it’s not much of an inconvenience to have to eat steak instead of chicken. No tears from me.

I want to know:WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE TOILET PAPER???

Did it take a plane to Venezuela? Did it hide itself in order to wait for Halloween. It has got to be able to explain itself.


78 posted on 03/20/2020 10:07:41 PM PDT by Maris Crane
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To: entropy12

7. Visit Walmart and buy out their supply of Cowboy’s apparel.


79 posted on 03/20/2020 10:10:17 PM PDT by Brellium ("Thou shalt not shilly shally!" Aron Nimzowitsch)
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To: Maris Crane

The same thing that happened to the chicken in the store—the crazy people panicked and bought more than they usually buy.

It will be resupplied—when folks realize that they will calm down...


80 posted on 03/20/2020 10:12:23 PM PDT by cgbg (BOLO--escaped SNF resident--Joe Biden)
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