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Man Forced To Apologize For Whatever He Did In Wife's Dream Last Night
Babylon Bee ^
Posted on 02/22/2020 8:25:14 AM PST by MNDude
KANSAS CITY, MO—After a lengthy dispute with his wife this morning, local man Lee Branscom expressed his great sorrow and regret over whatever he did in her dream last night that had her so ticked off at him, sources confirmed Tuesday
He attempted reasoning with her, using the "lame excuse" that he had no control over what dream Lee does, but after that failed, he resigned himself to apologizing for every action of the imaginary version of himself.
"Honey, I know in your dream I hijacked a school bus, blew up the Empire State Building, and cheated on you with every other eligible woman in America, and for that, I am deeply sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. "What else did I do again? Well, whatever it was, I apologize."
"I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you in that way," he said.
"I'm just not really sure you mean it," she replied. "You don't seem like you really regret telling me you're leaving me to join the UFC and then laughing as your head turned into a hot air balloon and you vomited out hundreds of 1-Up mushrooms and then disappeared down a green pipe." She insisted that Branscom list off each of the things his dream self did and apologize for them individually.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; chat
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To: Dr. Sivana
My Dad saw him live. My band teacher played with him for awhile in his beatnik days. Thank you for posting. Maybe that was what I was dreaming of?
41
posted on
02/22/2020 8:44:34 PM PST
by
Tailback
To: dfwgator
I did NOT need to see that right before bed. No, I did not.
Any bad dreams will be blamed on you.
42
posted on
02/22/2020 8:48:43 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(A hero is a hero no matter what medal they give him. Likewise a schmuck is still a schmuck.)
To: MNDude
Nah - two can have dreams ...
43
posted on
02/23/2020 2:52:43 AM PST
by
trebb
(Don't howl about illegal leeches, or Trump in general, while not donating to FR - it's hypocritical.)
To: null and void
Here's a nice song about that. The husband-and-wife band had a song about where she had a dream he had left her, for another, unattractive, woman. It took him most of the next day to convince her it had only been a nightmare.
Fleming And John -- Ugly Girl
44
posted on
02/23/2020 11:12:45 AM PST
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
To: grey_whiskers
Goodness, someone else on FR has heard of Fleming and John?
45
posted on
02/23/2020 11:15:41 AM PST
by
null and void
(By the pricking of my lungs, Something wicked this way comes ...)
To: null and void
46
posted on
02/23/2020 11:17:32 AM PST
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
To: null and void
47
posted on
02/23/2020 11:17:37 AM PST
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
To: null and void
48
posted on
02/23/2020 11:17:41 AM PST
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
To: null and void
49
posted on
02/23/2020 11:17:45 AM PST
by
grey_whiskers
(The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
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