Notice that the lowest score for crazy is a 4.
Posted on 02/22/2020 8:25:14 AM PST by MNDude
KANSAS CITY, MO—After a lengthy dispute with his wife this morning, local man Lee Branscom expressed his great sorrow and regret over whatever he did in her dream last night that had her so ticked off at him, sources confirmed Tuesday
He attempted reasoning with her, using the "lame excuse" that he had no control over what dream Lee does, but after that failed, he resigned himself to apologizing for every action of the imaginary version of himself.
"Honey, I know in your dream I hijacked a school bus, blew up the Empire State Building, and cheated on you with every other eligible woman in America, and for that, I am deeply sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. "What else did I do again? Well, whatever it was, I apologize."
"I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you in that way," he said.
"I'm just not really sure you mean it," she replied. "You don't seem like you really regret telling me you're leaving me to join the UFC and then laughing as your head turned into a hot air balloon and you vomited out hundreds of 1-Up mushrooms and then disappeared down a green pipe." She insisted that Branscom list off each of the things his dream self did and apologize for them individually.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Men, raise your hand if this has ever happened to you.
Yes. Several times.
meekly raising hand, similar situation
LOL!!
Notice that the lowest score for crazy is a 4.
Comon now. No one is claiming their wife thanked them for what he did to her in her dream last night?
I admit, the dream version of me helped the real me get lucky a few times as well.
I was ready to opine that this dude needs to apologize to himself for marrying such an insecure shrew, then I looked at the by-line.
Well played, sir!
No, never. Not even once.
“Men, raise your hand if this has ever happened to you.”
Not me. I’m not married to a psychopath.
I’m married to a psychotherapist who knows better than to be that stupid.
“I swear I didn’t do it, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”
and cheated on you with every other eligible woman in America...
Is that wrong?
Yeah I apologized for a (hot) gal telling me I shot her in her dreams.
But in all fairness, she was hot...
And I didn’t want to be cold :)
Been there, done that.
Even got TWO divorce degrees as proof.
A couple times.
On the other hand, she doesn’t know about the dreams I had about her that involved spanking and whipped cream.
The lowest score for crazy is 4 on THAT matrix. I saw one that included transsexuals. That one went down to a 2 on crazy because it’s really just a guy that wants to be a woman. That’s way less crazy than a real woman.
“Well, it’s the kind of thing you would do...”
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