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Archaeologists Discover King David's 'Make Israel Great Again' Hat
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/17/2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/19/2020 10:01:04 AM PST by BipolarBob

ISRAEL—Archaeologists claim to have found King David's "Make Israel Great Again" hat.

Scholars believe King David rose to power on a wave of populist sentiment after King Saul failed to deliver on his campaign promise of "Hope" and the disastrous implementation of his healthcare plan, "Saulcare."

"King David gave big, rousing speeches to supporters, who all chanted 'Make Israel great again!' throughout his exciting rallies," said one researcher. "The masses had grown tired of King Saul's unfulfilled campaign promises, ballooning of the national debt, and unconstitutional drone war on the Philistines. They were looking for a normal politician who could go into Jerusalem and 'drain the swamp in Saul's court.'"

Historians have confirmed the authenticity of lawn signs reading "Make Israel Great Again" and various red hats with the same message, worn by thousands of David's supporters. He'd risen to popularity through a reality show where he fought a giant Philistine. Saul obviously didn't like David's rising popularity and so threw things at him (politics were more civilized in those days).

There is also evidence King David paid off a porn star.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: archaeology; babylonbee; humor; israel; satire; whatisthisfor
This is astounding news. The similarities are eerie. History is repeating itself.
1 posted on 01/19/2020 10:01:04 AM PST by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

That’s funny!


2 posted on 01/19/2020 10:01:55 AM PST by lee martell
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To: BipolarBob

You can always count on the Bee for a good laugh.


3 posted on 01/19/2020 10:02:14 AM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: BipolarBob

Great headline!


4 posted on 01/19/2020 10:08:42 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: BipolarBob
This wouldn't be Fake News, would it?

Better check the dopes at snopes.

5 posted on 01/19/2020 10:27:21 AM PST by budj (Combat vet, 2nd of three generations.)
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To: BipolarBob

LOL! That last line got me.


6 posted on 01/19/2020 11:00:30 AM PST by sauropod
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To: sauropod

By marrying her and siring Solomon?


7 posted on 01/19/2020 11:17:30 AM PST by MuttTheHoople
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To: BipolarBob

My vote for headline of the year!


8 posted on 01/19/2020 12:47:50 PM PST by GunHoardingCapitalist (The dumber society becomes, the wiser i am in their eyes.)
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To: BipolarBob

What’s AMAZING is the condition of the hat - looks almost new.


9 posted on 01/19/2020 12:53:30 PM PST by BobL (I eat at McDonald's and shop at Walmart - I just don't tell anyone.)
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To: BipolarBob
!דוד מלך ישראל חי וקיים
10 posted on 01/19/2020 1:11:08 PM PST by Zionist Conspirator (Modernism began two thousand years ago.)
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To: BipolarBob

Obviously geared to a Biblically-illiterate readership. Saul never held court in Jerusalem.


11 posted on 01/19/2020 1:23:05 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: BipolarBob

Ashkenazi Make Israel Great Again (AMIGA)


12 posted on 01/19/2020 1:32:42 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0ndRzaz2o)
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