Posted on 10/09/2019 9:26:10 AM PDT by rxsid
New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing Gasoline
October 7th, 2019
U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.
Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.
"We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work."
Once the driver has listened to Thunberg's entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, "How dare you!" over and over again.
The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.
“The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.”
I doubt it will apply to re-fueling costs for airliners transporting scowling autistic 16 year old Swedish girls either.
Even with the 20 minute “Greta-lecture” delay this will still be far quicker and more efficient than trying to recharge any electric vehicle.
Nice, thanks.
I don't know. Don't horses fart too?
After five minutes of that, I’d douse myself with gasoline and light a match.
How dare you not offer green stamps with every purchase!
Dreadful, horrible child! I keep hearing people on the Right saying how she’s being manipulated by her parents and other adults.
That’s true as far as it goes, but I’m not really inclined to give her a pass. By the age of 16, one should have some self-awareness — and some manners.
I don’t see any future for this horror child other than to grow up to be a particularly demented Leftist.
If Hillary runs again, we need to force voters to watch videos of her screeching and cackling before they vote.
From my recent travels:
Reg Gas in SoCal: $4.29/gal
Reg Gas in FL: 2.39/gal
As the lines between satire and reality become less and less clear...
“The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.”
Bwaaa-Haaa-Haaa!
Greta Von Scoldilocks has the “resting b*tch face” down.
On the Bright Side, this might slow down the mind-numbed Antifa pukes a bit while they’re making Molotov Cocktails! Most of them cannot be anywhere NEAR a screen without staring at it, LOL!
*SNORT*
“SATIRE”
Boo!
I much prefer when Babylon Bee articles are not labelled satire and I get to laugh at some of the responses.
Boo!"
Agreed, and for the record, I didn't put that in the title. The admin added it after the fact.
“That’s true as far as it goes, but I’m not really inclined to give her a pass. By the age of 16, one should have some self-awareness — and some manners.”
She’s got Asperger’s, so less self-awareness. This is 100% on the parents, who knew they had a vessel to promote their cause(s).
If this law passes, I will just bike everywhere.
Babylon Bee. I am not worthy.
I see your point, FRiend. But I’m still not inclined to be too merciful to either the child or the parents — dreadful people one and all.
Dear Lord, protect us from people with “causes.” At best, they are bores and windbags. At worst, they are killers.
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