Posted on 10/09/2019 9:26:10 AM PDT by rxsid
New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing Gasoline
October 7th, 2019
U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline.
Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels.
"We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having them get lectured by a 16-year-old so they will have all the facts before they do something rash like put gasoline in their cars to go to work."
Once the driver has listened to Thunberg's entire lecture, they will be prompted to complete a quick, fifteen-question quiz to show they understand how horrible they are for driving a car. Drivers who get at least 80% will then be allowed to refuel their vehicles. As they refuel, the screen will simply play a clip of Thunberg saying, "How dare you!" over and over again.
The law will not apply to celebrities purchasing jet fuel.
The plan is to drive every non PC leftist insane.
Hardly satire. Elect more Dems and gas pumps will be forced to trickle at same rate as electricity charges EV batteries. Hours to fill. It’s only fair, and for the children.
And whites will pay 30% more.
LOL.. Don’t give the Leftists any ideas!
Love the Babylon Bee!!
HAHAHA! Love the BB.
JibJab should do a Hogg/Thunberg video.
Looks like a job for the cordless drill in my truck.
Are they willing to be held accountable when people use the gasoline to immolate themselves and accidentally others rather than listen to that twit rant?
LOL.
They (the Left) has no idea what is going to happen.
5.56mm
I suspect Greta set the Green movement back quite a bit. I was insulted by her speech. I suspect anyone who wasn’t already a diehard leftist was as well.
My emotional reaction to Greta’s “how dare you” was at least as strong as her’s and in the opposite direction. As a matter of fact, I might just go out and burn a few gallons of gas for the Hell of it.
Works for me. I can laugh at it while I gas up my 392 Hemi Challenger. If it weren’t for the tires being so damned expensive, I’d be happy to turn a few of them into smoke too, thus ensuring the need to replace them with more petroleum-based tires.
Seriously. For that matter, how is she and her entourage getting around? Rail? Amtrak is a Leftist joke, and not the funny kind. Most of our states are larger than her whole country.
Check out United Spot. They do something similar
That’s funny right there.
But I can see some version of that happening once the Democrats take over everything. In some parts of the country you now have to fill out a dozen forms if you want to cut down a tree. So why not the same when buying gasoline?
Sample gasoline questions:
Can you prove that you are a politician or a celebrity? If so, skip the rest of the form. Otherwise:
Explain why you need this gasoline.
Provide evidence that your planned route is the most energy-efficient one.
Provide evidence that carpooling is not available in your area.
Provide evidence that mass transit is not available in your area.
Here’s the BB version...
> Seriously. For that matter, how is she and her entourage getting around? <
She must be using a sailboat for ocean travel, and a horse for land travel. Because anything else would be hypocritical.
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