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Laughter - Left and Right
email | 9/27/2019 | unknown

Posted on 09/27/2019 3:00:55 AM PDT by sodpoodle

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a barstool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English – they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."


TOPICS: Humor; Travel
KEYWORDS: braking
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Scary!
1 posted on 09/27/2019 3:00:55 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

Ha! Took me a second, but then I got it. ;-)Thanks for the much needed laugh.


2 posted on 09/27/2019 3:06:02 AM PDT by lysie
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To: sodpoodle

Too early for such things!

Coffee spewing and all that stuff.


3 posted on 09/27/2019 3:06:16 AM PDT by Sequoyah101 (We are governed by the consent of the governed and we are fools for allowing it.)
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To: sodpoodle
The usual "Made My Day".

Thanks Sod, Love ya Sac

4 posted on 09/27/2019 3:18:20 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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List of Territories and Countries That Follow Left-Hand Traffic Laws

Oceania
• Australia
• Christmas Island
• Cocos (Keeling) Islands
• Cook Islands
• Fiji
• Kiribati
• Nauru
• New Zealand
• Niue
• Norfolk Island
• Papua New Guinea
• Pitcairn Islands
• Solomon Islands
• Samoa
• Tokelau
• Tonga
• Tuvalu

Asia
• Bangladesh
• Bhutan
• Brunei
• East Timor
• Hong Kong
• Indonesia
• India
• Japan
• Macao
• Malaysia
• Nepal
• Pakistan
• Singapore
• Sri Lanka
• Thailand

Africa
• Botswana
• Kenya
• Lesotho
• Malawi
• Mauritius
• Mozambique
• Namibia
• South Africa
• Swaziland
• Tanzania
• Uganda
• Zambia
• Zimbabwe

Europe
• Akrotiri and Dhekelia
• Cyprus
• Guernsey
• Ireland
• Isle of Man
• Jersey
• Malta
• United Kingdom

South America
• Guyana
• Suriname

Caribbean Basin
• Anguilla
• Antigua and Barbados
• Bahamas
• Barbados
• British Virgin Islands
• Cayman Islands
• Dominica
• Grenada
• Jamaica
• Montserrat
• Saint Kitts and Nevis
• Saint Lucia
• Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
• Trinidad and Tobago
• Turks and Caicos Islands
• U.S. Virgin Islands

Other Islands
• Bermuda
• Falkland Islands
• Maldives
• Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan de Cunha
• Seychelles
• South Georgia and South Sandwich Islands


5 posted on 09/27/2019 3:19:45 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

I knew the punchline as soon as they said driving for miles in England, but it was still a solid chuckle to start the day.


6 posted on 09/27/2019 3:20:49 AM PDT by reed13k (For evil to triumph it is only necessary that good men do nothing)
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To: Sacajaweau

Love yah too:)


7 posted on 09/27/2019 3:21:05 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: reed13k

Very interesting situation re: right and left driver seats - wondering what percentage of autos are manufactured for this difference.

Hmmm....


8 posted on 09/27/2019 3:42:13 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

I drove a stick shift for 35 years and now I have an automatic. There’s no way I would even attempt to drive one in one of those left side countries.....


9 posted on 09/27/2019 3:45:02 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (I'm in the cleaning business.......I launder money)
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To: Hot Tabasco

Because the ‘driver’s’ seat is on the ‘left’ you would be aware of the difference and drive accordingly.

My daughter did a great job on vacation in England.

.


10 posted on 09/27/2019 3:52:48 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle
Because the ‘driver’s’ seat is on the ‘left’

I thought the steering wheels were on the right side......

11 posted on 09/27/2019 3:54:40 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (I'm in the cleaning business.......I launder money)
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To: Hot Tabasco

Ooops!!! I screwed up again;)


12 posted on 09/27/2019 3:56:46 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Barbados. Honeymoon. Rent-a-car. Memories. More than one!


13 posted on 09/27/2019 4:06:11 AM PDT by 21twelve (!)
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To: sodpoodle

actually lots of accidents by American foreigners.


14 posted on 09/27/2019 4:07:34 AM PDT by Chickensoup (Voter ID for 2020!! Leftists totalitarian fascists appear to be planning to eradicate conservatives)
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To: Hot Tabasco
I circumnavigated Australia by car this year.

You have to be on your game.

You have to be consciously driving, all the time. If you allow yourself to "go on automatic" you make serious mistakes.

I was not bored while driving in Australia. It was too important to get bored.

15 posted on 09/27/2019 4:26:19 AM PDT by marktwain (President Trump and his supporters are the Resistance. His opponents are the Reactionaries.)
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To: marktwain

It’s not so bad if you’re in a minimum amount of traffic as you can sort of follow the leader and it gives you the correct way to go, mostly.

When you’re in low/no traffic is when you revert to ‘auto pilot’ and drift to the wrong side, especially when turning a corner.

At least that’s how I remember it.


16 posted on 09/27/2019 5:08:35 AM PDT by John Milner (Marching for Peace is like breathing for food.)
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To: John Milner

I also hear you need to re calibrate your pedestrian instincts, else you find yourself stepping into oncoming traffic because you looked the wrong way.


17 posted on 09/27/2019 5:22:10 AM PDT by ConservativeWarrior (Fall down 7 times, stand up 8. - Japanese proverb)
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To: sodpoodle

You forgot Selma, Alabama. ;)


18 posted on 09/27/2019 5:30:10 AM PDT by Quilla
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To: sodpoodle

Usually I make the switch from left to right driving sides. That’s pretty easy. Just make sure you, the driver, is toward the middle of the road. But, what catches me almost every time is these apply to walking as well as driving. Just try walking through a Walmart or Lowe’s on the left side of a pathway. Ha! You get a lot of ugly looks.


19 posted on 09/27/2019 5:36:45 AM PDT by Jemian (War Eagle!)
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To: John Milner

I lived in England for four years. My first time driving, I was doing fine until I stopped at a store. When I got back in the car, I pulled out on the wrong side on a fairly major road (2 lanes each way). I saw a line of traffic headed toward me a ways away. My reaction was not “I’m on the wrong side of the road” but “it must be a one-way road.” I pulled a U-turn, and I was again on the facing a long line of traffic, which this time was much closer to me. I hopped the curb, pulled onto the sidewalk, and let my brain catch up before trying again.

My wife had a reverse one. She was back in the U.S., and she stopped a crosswalk. The guy crossing gave her a really strange look as he walked across. As she started to go again, she saw in her rear-view mirror that there was a long line of cars in the right lane and she was in the left lane. Fortunately, nobody ever came toward her, and she got over without any issue.


20 posted on 09/27/2019 5:37:44 AM PDT by Gil4 (And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, ax and saw)
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