Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
I don’t have to. You are the one who made the claim about feminist studies and how they are false. YOU are the one who should identify which feminist studies you are talking about, and then give at least some explanation of how they are false. But your stance is apparently “all feminist studies are false; prove me wrong.” That’s not how it works.
Again, that is a logical fallacy. Prove to me you didn’t murder anyone yesterday! See how that works?
And with regards to feminist studies, my beef isn’t with them specifically. As I have already stated twice, I distrust all single issue groups and their studies on both sides of the coin on everything from healthcare, divorce, diet, environment, etc. Groups whose very existence relies on their claim of something are always going to skew things anyway they can in their favor, especially if they are aligned with the marxist elements in society like the second and third wave feminists did and global warming groups. But that is certainly not limited to those two groups. Most of these groups studies are shrouded in secrecy, never let third parties see the underlying data or even reveal their methodology most of the time so other groups can try to replicate it - again this is not specific to divorce.
Please indicate what studies you have read that you consider exaggerated. Start with ONE. Just ONE. Give us a name, or an institution, or a scholarly journal. And please don't divert to a Rolling Stone story about a college girl saying she was raped. It's not a study, and it's not the same topic, it's nothing to do with it. I want a feminist study on domestic violence pre 1920 that you think is flawed.
But it is you who are the accuser. You have accused every feminist out there of lying.
What does rape on college campuses in the 21st century have to do with domestic violence 100 years earlier??
Me: You murdered someone last week!
You: No, I did not. Prove that I murdered someone.
Me: You are accusing me of lying! Prove that I'm lying.
It was common practice in the 1970’s, probably moreso than today.
You seriously can’t connect the dots? It shows the lengths second and third wave feminists will go to skew things to get laws changed (in this case, campus laws/rules, which Obama put into place based on Title IX and others) by greatly exaggerating the “risk” men represent to women. From the article I linked, only 1.3 per 1000 women were raped (0.13%, not 25%).
Remember, I am not a feminist scholar. I have not made any accusations or claims, other than that without credit, education, property rights, and employment, women are trapped. You agreed to that.
YOU MADE THE CLAIM that reports of domestic abuse were exaggerated. YOU SUPPORT YOUR CLAIM.
What reports?
Exaggerated how?
Sigh, more straw-man arguments and logical fallacies. And I just supported my claim by debunking the latest feminist study on rape. Goodbye. Hope you continue to enjoy the decline of western society.
Good-bye. Thank you for “proving” that wife-beating in 1920 rarely happened because college boys rarely rape drunk college girls in 2010, because only women say that and all women who say anything bad about men are liars, and you know it because you just know it, that’s why. Truly. It was brilliant. I can honestly say I have never seen anything like it.
Of the 5,446 women, 28.5% reported having experienced an attempted or completed sexual assault either before or since entering college. Figure 1 presents the estimates for the various types of sexual assault experienced by the women. Nearly 16% of the 5,446 women experienced attempted or completed sexual assault before entering college (box 1).
It goes on to say only 5% of the respondents claim to have been raped on campus.
So you see, the study says that 1 in 4 women ON CAMPUS claim to have been assaulted (not necessarily resulting in full-blown rape). But it doesn't say OR PRETEND TO SAY that these incidents all happened on campus.
You didn't even look at the study. You looked at what Biden and Obama said about the study, and you believed them, apparently, because they are men.
You believed Obama and Biden, and you didn't actually read the study.
Can I just say that one more time? You didn't read the study. You listened to what Obama and Biden said about the study. Because you will listen to a man, even a left-wing one, before you will actually read a study published by a woman.
Check this out. This goofball, rb22982, says he has “proven” that feminist studies lie because Obama and Biden said 1 in 4 women on college campuses have been raped, according to some study of “feminists.” But the study doesn’t say that. My post of #576 explains what the study actually says. He didn’t read it. He just believed what Obama and Biden said about it. Because they are men.
"The researchers made clear that the study consisted of students from just two universities, but some politicians ignored that for their talking point... If 5,446 sounds like a high number, it’s not — the researchers acknowledged that it was actually a low response rate... an NIJ fact sheet which noted that "researchers have been unable to determine the precise incidence of sexual assault on American campuses because the incidence found depends on how the questions are worded and the context of the survey"...
In other words, even the "debunking" isn't debunking the report!
It's using the report to debunk the politicians (and the ones named by the article are all male, including Rubio and Grassley).
So you've got women who published the results of a survey stating that 28% of women who responded to a campus survey have said that they have had someone attempt or complete a sexual assault on them sometime in their lives, that often they were drunk when it happened, and that only 5% reported being raped on campus. Then male politicians took the survey, changed it to "1 in 4 women on campus are raped" and YOU come along and take what the male politicians said and turn it into proof that all feminists are liars.
You might be the most unbelievable tool I have seen in FR in years. You linked an article that you didn't read about a survey you didn't read.... really? REALLY?
But you didn't provide links - at least not to me. But it doesn't matter. Statistics don't tell us the whole story, anyway.
Strong marriages with kids growing up with 2 parents has been the bedrock of Western society
Yes, strong marriages. Strong marriages require honesty. As I wrote in my post, people who have trouble with monogamy shouldn't marry.
Notice I wrote "people." I'm not talking about men only. I'm saying that some men and some women should never marry anyone. They're just not built for marriage.
For every time a woman has legitimately been screwed over financially or not seeing her kids, 10-20+ men in the same or worse boat
I have to disagree. Sure, some men have been given the shaft, but others aren't telling you the whole story.
I don't know why you and your wife are divorcing. Whatever happened, it sounds as if you yourself are financially successful and still young. I don't know the laws in your state. In my state, if the ex remarries or cohabitates, the alimony ends. (How long do you think your ex is willing to stay single?) Also here, if one spouse isn't employed, an income is imputed to that spouse, anyway, based on what that spouse could earn, and that amount is deducted from the alimony payments. Also, there's room to negotiate.
Thats incorrect. Its been scientifically proven that people with high N Counts have trouble pair bonding and high rates of divorce. One needs to do vetting.
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