Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
I knew her personally. She wasn’t playing the sympathy card. She was exactly right. She realized her husband didn’t love her.
Maybe it is you.
Yeah, just because you know her means you know everything that happened in their marriage LOL
Not sure what “it” is you are referencing and to “me” specifically.
She was a close relative. I went to church with her grandkids.
We are who we attract.
I could not disagree more with that. A high value male will attract all kinds of women. He is defined by his high value, not any of the individual women he attracts. A beautiful woman will attract all kinds of men - from pastors, to bankers to college jocks etc.
Again, that doesn’t mean anything. People keep things that are embarrassing very close to the chest and deflect problems onto others, especially if they need financial and emotional support.
LOL well in the last 3 months, without any effort I’ve attracted 2 college hotties, 3 working hotties in their 20s and a variety of corporate women in their 30s and 40s with no effort from all kinds of beliefs and backgrounds. Maybe you and that person means you are who you form significant relationships with - that I’d agree with. But a tall male with a good physique that is smart and makes great money and dresses well will attract 80% of the women out there. A woman with an hour glass figure, big boobs who is pleasant will attract 80% of men out there.
The view from the cheap seats looks like this....
He’s got two years into this relationship and is looking to 1) finalize, or 2) bolt.
The point of the questions (which should have been asked 18-20 months ago IMO) is to decide option 1 or 2 above.
Now he’s got his answer and is electing option 2.
This was a discussion that should have been had when they had the “exclusive” talk about dating other people, at 2-4 months in.
Didn’t she at least shower in between dudes?
Agree with you 100%
You can’t generalize about the physical. My first instinct on finding a good mate was all about the character.
Yes, you can generalize, because we are dealing with millions of people - really billions of people. There are all kinds of people who have quirky things. But if you are macro-viewing society you use generalizations because they are what defines society. Did you ever see the Plenty of Fish survey they did a few years ago? 80% of women all wanted the same 10% of men. And if you are a young guy or gal, you can play against the odds without stacking the deck, but that just makes you a poor gambler.
I hope she was charging for it.
I’ve always been in the pool of the other 20%.
I think its safe to say most women FREEpers are in general less likely to conform to society norms on most things. Men as well.
You keep complaining on this thread about women.
You seem to believe all men are good and women are bad.
Want to know who really gets the shaft in divorce today?
The nice person. The honest one. Woman or man - it doesn’t matter which.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.