Doctors ask that you please not put parsley in your vagina

New York Post ^ | 1-21-2019 | Miranda Larbi

[servo1969]

In a recent article by Marie Claire on how to bring on periods, the author said that the herb is a natural emmenagogue – meaning that it can stimulate or increase menstrual flow.

While that is true, there’s a massive difference between sprinkling a bit of parsley over your pasta and shoving a bunch into your vagina.

Marie Claire said: “Parsley can help to soften the cervix and level out hormonal imbalances that could be delaying your cycle, helping your period come faster.”

“If you’re struggling to find a dish based on parsley, don’t panic – the most effective forms are said to be parsley tea and parsley vaginal inserts.”

But what the mag fails to mention is that putting parsley into vaginas can be extremely dangerous and in some cases, fatal.

[servo1969]

It's 2019 and some young women have to be told this.

[Tax-chick]

Why would anyone want to “stimulate or increase menstrual flow,” that is, have a period more frequently or more heavily?

Are they trying to offer parsley as an abortifacient?

[ronnie raygun]

That along with steaming your vagina will get you a dinner

[FlingWingFlyer]

Which fad did this replace. Sucking on Tide Pods or snorting used condoms?

[Tax-chick]

That’s disgusting.

[sparklite2]

And the punch line is, “You don’t EAT parsley.”

[Tucker39]

Strikes me as a fine way to bring on anaphyllactic shock;......and death.

[steve8714]

Garnish? Take away the garlic smell?

[Vaquero]

I’ve heard of garnishing one’s wages…but one’s vagina?

[Vaquero]

That’s it. You WIN THE INTERNET for today.

[ClearCase_guy]

They are not the boss of me!

[Mr Ramsbotham]

But if you’re queer, put anything you want up your backside.

[sparklite2]

Heh.

[BitWielder1]

And when the lawyers are done, all parsley must come with warning labels.

[Leep]

That was parsley funny.

[Vlad The Inhaler]

Nor beer can openers, corkscrews, drill bits, soldering irons, lizards or dwarfs.

[Mr Ramsbotham]

“Some benefits of the combined oral contraceptive pill include shorter, lighter and less painful bleeding. Oral contraceptive pills can also be used on alternative regimes by skipping a “pill break,” which would mean skipping a monthly bleed.

Here's a paradox. Don't put parsley up your vagina because you might get an infection, but feel free to pop a pill that throws a monkey wrench into your entire endocrine system.

[servo1969]

“Hell, help me find my keys and we’ll drive out of here!”

Thank you very much....

[Candor7]

This would add a whole new chapter to the radical leftist femino-nazi “ Vagina Monologues.”

I would bet that the majority of individuals, who apply parsley to their pasta, are far left liberals who are in the painful process of sticking their heads up their a$$es.

[Doogle]