If Confucius Lived Today - this is what he would say;)

email | 11/10/2018 | unknown

[sodpoodle]

I don't write 'em, I just pass 'em along.

[jjotto]

Confucius say, “Who say all that stuff I say???”

[entropy12]

Confucius say:

An optimist is a man looking forward to getting married.
A pessimist is a married optimist.

[Alberta's Child]

"Man who goes through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok."

Sorry -- I couldn't resist.

[sodpoodle]

Funny!

[sodpoodle]

Humor on sex seems to always be written from the male perspective.

good one;)

[deadrock]

Confucius say, “Baseball is a lie. Man with four balls can’t walk.”

[ArtDodger]

Man who go to bed with diarrhea problem wake up with solution.

[SomeCallMeTim]

Hilarious

[ExpatCanuck]

Confusious says, no tickiy, no laundry.

[Nateman]

Confucius say I’ve been dead for centuries , bet you wish you had the last word like I do!

[Fiddlstix]

[Tucker39]

Confucius say, “Woman who fly airplane upside down have crackup.”

[Pappy Smear]

Man who has sex with girl in strawberry patch gets ass in jam.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.

[sodpoodle]

Here are actual quotes;

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Confucius

samples:
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.

He who will not economize will have to agonize.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

Men’s natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

[Candor7]

Confucius Say:

Woman who fly ovah grabe yard upside down
have clack up!

[moovova]

“A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.”

Nailed. It.

[sauropod]

bkmk

[YouGoTexasGirl]

I just got a Bad Dad Jokes calendar for 2019 and read the whole year!!!....most funny and clean....

A furniture store keeps calling me...all I wanted was one night stand...!!!

[TNoldman]

Confucius jokes