Posted on 06/14/2018 11:28:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz
VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.”
Where past Popes have been careful in their attempts to stay in line with official Catholic teaching, Pope Francis confessed he doesn’t really know much official doctrine, stating that he’s more of a “shoot from the hip kind of guy” when it comes to weighty topics of morality, salvation, God, and eternity.
“People ask me questions, and I’m not always sure what to say, so honestly I’m just winging it,” the Pope said in his candid, unscheduled address. “This job is really hard, when you think about it. Trying to be the Vicar of Christ and deal with everybody’s complicated theological questions all at the same time? Ugh. It gives me a headache. So I just start talking. Even I’m surprised with what comes out sometimes.”
“I just want everyone to know about, like, love and God and stuff,” he added thoughtfully before beginning to take questions from those gathered in the Sistine Chapel, with the Pope signing off on Christian fornication, adultery, and polygamy during the short impromptu Q&A session.
At publishing time, frantic Catholic leadership had located the Pope and tackled him to the ground to prevent him from saying anything further.
We knew that!
It’s just a translation problem.
There’s a reason why this is so darned funny! And that reason, sadly, isn’t funny.
The Delusional Lying Left’s Useful Idiot.
The question is: How with the Babylon Bee report the fall of Mystery Babylon?
EVERYTHHING? Does he even know Latin?
/Sarc I assume
Fake - but accurate
Ha ha! Love the Onion...wait. wahat?
Been making up things since 300ad...
OMG!!!! Jesus WEPT....again.
so is it all “ex-cathedra” ???
Impossible. I know you’re old, but you’re not *that* old.
Is the Babylon Bee reliable? This is an astonishing admission.
Best to wait for some kind of confirmation. Right now I just can’t believe it.
The Babylon Bee is beyond reproach. Other headlines:
Using World-Famous Negotiation Skills, Trump Convinces Little Caesars Cashier To Sell Him $5 Hot-N-Ready Pizza For $10
Melania Trump Criticized For Not Being Michelle Obama
Fox News Slams Jesus For Never Once Standing During National Anthem
Shoot from the hip?
Who does this Pope think he is? The Donald Trump of religion?
LOL, I can’t believe he’d say this.
Maybe he should read the guidance book. It’s called the Bible.
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