Posted on 07/24/2017 10:52:43 AM PDT by sodpoodle
BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'Cathy', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?' She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!
You guys just never learn...
A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for social security. After waiting in line for a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
“Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asked.
The woman said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
So he opened his shirt, revealing lots of silver, curly hair.
She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” And she processed his social security application.
When he got home, the man excitedly told his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She sniffed at him, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
George and Agnes were watching the preacher on TV and his revival show. The preacher called up folks from the audience to get healed.
“And you folks at home - place one hand on your TV and the other on your ailing part and I will heal the sick.”
George hobbles over with his walker and places one hand on the TV and the other down his pants.
Agnes exclaims “Didn’t you hear the man George!!?? He said he could heal the sick. Not raise the dead!”
A pretty good chuckle there...
Old grandpa went in for his regular physical at the tender young age of 83. The doctor told him everything was OK but there was one more thing. He handed him a small bottle and said he needed to bring back a sperm sample.
So grandpa came back the next day with an empty bottle and the doctor asked what was wrong.
Well doc, grandpa said, I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, no luck. So I went to my wife. She tried with her left hand, she tried with he right hand, she even tried with her teeth, still no luck. So we asked the neighbor’s wife - she tried with her left...
The doctor stopped him, aghast, and said wait a minute...your neighbor’s WIFE???
Yeah doc, no matter what we did we could never get the damn bottle opened.
like msm/entertainment doesn’t do enough male bashing. Let’s do some ourselves.
The friend who sends me jokes via email is an old conservative geezer. He can laugh at himself and many of my FReeper male friends laugh too - that’s why I post humor threads - for a smile - to ease the current political stress & chaos. BTW, MSM has no sense of humor.
LOL!!!
Really? You think this is 'male bashing'? Interesting...
Elder-bashing, perhaps, but...
Thx for the contribution;)
I laughed out loud at your jokes sitting at my desk, so had to share with the co-workers. It is not man bashing, it is humor.
An old woman watching TV sees multiple commercials for the blue pill. She knows her husband isn’t interested but goes down to the doctor and explains her dilemma. He prescribes the medicine but knowing the old man wished her good luck getting him to take the medicine.
When she gets home, she looks around trying to figure out how to get the medicine in the old man, suddenly it hits her, if she drops it in the well, he’ll get up and pump his own dose in the morning.
Several weeks later, the doctor sees the old woman and asked her if the medicine works.
She replies, I don’t know, we still can’t get the pump handle down.
Thanks - I’m an old female and have posted many similar jokes about old ladies. Been there, done that and laughter is the best medicine.
Joke with my friends about having to put on the wig, the prosthetic bra, the teeth, the glasses and the hearing aides.....then I’m ready for action;)
well, it just reminds me of the jokes of sitcoms and movies and after decades, I’m tired of those. No biggie.
What we need though is more politician and lawyer jokes, maybe some commie, leftist jokes as well.
****What we need though is more politician and lawyer jokes, maybe some commie, leftist jokes as well.****
Find ‘em and post ‘em.
Pookie posts a lot of cartoons in those categories, every day.
LOL!
As you wish:
Politics - Noun - Poly = many and ticks = blood-sucking parasites.
If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?
What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?
A good start...
Here’s one from old Rodney Dangerfield
I went to my doctor for an exam, he said it looks like you might have some kind of problem I’ll need a Urine Sample, a Stool Sample and a Blood Sample... Okay I said and handed him my UNDERWEAR!
Was that Dr. Vinny Boombatz?
I'm just a young 64 year old whippersnapper, but I'm laughing right along with the grownups ;-)
I miss the days when we men (and women) could laugh at ourselves. We were morally stronger, and mentally healthier, before the left took over the culture, and began imposing their pc codes on everyone. They've uglified and destroyed everything they've touched in this country.
The male bashing the previous poster complained about, is a signature tactic of the left. Its a subtle weapon of cultural genocide, which they're employing to break the natural masculine instincts of our men and boys. They think if they can emasculate the American male, there will be little resistance to their planned destruction of our country.
Please keep posting your politically incorrect humor threads. They're good medicine for the soul, and a fine antidote to what ails us. They're also really funny :-)
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