Taking A Dip In The Jury Pool

Personal Experience | 3/14/2017 | blueunicorn6

[blueunicorn6]

I recently had the opportunity to fulfill my civic duty.

I gave Al Franken an Atomic Wedgie.

No.....just kidding. Though I do think that every American should pull Al Franken's shorts over his head.

I was called for jury duty.

They sent me an engraved invitation with a veiled threat to kick my donkey if I didn't show up at the appointed time.

The invitation said to wear "appropriate clothing", and I was going to the jury pool, so I tried to check in wearing my speedo and flip flops.

Turns out there's some kind of dress code to try out for the jury team, so I had to go home and change.

When I returned with my appropriate attire, they had me sign in and go and sit in an oven. It was roasting in the jury room. All 70 or 80 of us potential jurors were jammed into a room not much larger than a dorm room.

Some of us potential jurors had thought ahead and brought things to entertain us while we waited.

I brought some dice.

I won four cell phones and a pair of socks. Hey! Winning is winning.

They called us and we left the sauna for the cool and relaxing court room.

Thus began the traditional legal practice of "void dire" which I guess is French for "tired butt" because we sat for quite awhile.

I had very low expectations of the Judge and the lawyers. I am happy to say that I was really wrong about them. They were competent and considerate. I was pleased with everyone in the court room except for one group.

My fellow potential jurors.

Oh my God.

The lawyers ask the potential jurors questions to try and determine if they will be fair.

The lawyers aren't going to look you in the eye and ask you if you are a dirty liar.

They probably should have.

Of course, they would have had to send out for more jurors and all lawyers want to run for political office someday so they try not to embarrass anyone.

They ask a lot of hypothetical questions.

For example, the lawyer might ask, "Let's say you find a dead chicken in your yard and you see fox tracks but the fox says he didn't do it.....would you believe the fox?"

Well, I've talked to a lot of foxes and I know that they'll say anything to stay out of trouble, so I said as long as we were making shirt up that I would just ask my talking dog if he knew who killed the chicken.

That was the last question they asked me.

But, oh, how my fellow potential jurors spilled their guts.

We found out that one had a communicable disease. Another told us about her love life which was pretty boring. I kid you not, there was a lady who raised her hand four times to comment that she wasn't sure if she could be fair or not, but she thought she could be.

When she raised her hand for the fifth time, the Judge dismissed her.

I have recently discovered this new thing called "Virtue Signaling". It's basically where you're trying to impress everyone with what a good person you are. We had lots of Virtue Signaling.

You couldn't swing a dead cat in that group of jurors without hitting someone who felt the desperate need to tell the Judge and lawyers and fellow potential jurors how virtuous they were.....the dirty liars.

And ladies, I'm sorry to tell you, but probably 95% of the Virtue Signaling was done by females. They would recite the Girl Scout Oath and tell everyone they lived by it. We had sworn an oath to be truthful and these women were trying to convince everyone that they were Mother Theresa or a reasonable facsimile.

I started looking for Angels wings.

I guess they really wanted to be a juror. Me, I could take it or leave it. I figured my talking dog comment had probably caused both lawyers to pull the black ball on me.

We had one lady who just had to talk. She told us about movies she had seen. She told us about her friends and family. She told us about her ethnic heritage.

Finally, I could take no more.

I stood up and pointed at her and yelled, "For crying out loud, your Honor, can you give this woman the death penalty right now and save the rest of us?"

I was excused. Chatty Kathy is on the jury.

[Hardastarboard]

Who wants their fate decided by 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty?

[Hebrews 11:6]

Thanks for your interesting reply. From your description it’s hard to fathom why that judge rejected generally-permitted questioning out-of-hand without at least listening first to the question, after which she still retained her right to reject it. Smacks of judicial arrogance.

[day10]

Way back in the day I got called for Petit Jury duty and actually served on 2 trials. Nothing major, just minor crimes that went to trial for whatever reason.

True story: one of the trials I was on was so bad that I hung the jury (the person got a retrial) so I could just get away from the jury foreman.

The individual on trial was driving while impaired, in possession of illegal drugs, and caused some property damage when she crashed. Why this even went to trial I don’t know. God as my witness, during closing argument, her defense attorney said “we don’t deny anything that has been said in this trial, we just ask for mercy for my client”.

So we go back to the jury room and one guy steps up and says he wants to be the foreman. Everybody says OK fine as we figure we’ll be there an hour tops. Oh no, this guy sits everyone down and pulls a copy of the Constitution out of his shirt pocket and starts reading. He says how do we know the cops didn’t plant the stuff? How do we know the cops aren’t lying? I say, “would it be the part where her attorney says they don’t deny any of this?”

8 HOURS LATER, after going back into the courtroom TWICE to have testimony read back, I knock on the door and ask the bailiff how I can get the hell out of here because the foreman is a lunatic. He says you can say the jury is hung, so I did.

I came away with a different take: I determined that I NEVER want to be on trial because the phrase “jury of your peers” is a myth. :-)

[Oatka]

The other one (Federal, civil appeals court… I was foreman): Man buys $20K life insurance policy and is in a fatal car crash (not his fault) 3 weeks later. The timing of the accident triggers a deep review by insurance company who claims he lied on his application.

Some years back, a guy bought temp life insurance for a flight he was taking. Plane crashed, guy dies. His widow was hauled into court, either by the IRS or the insurance company, saying the guy took out the insurance knowing he would die, so either tax would be withheld, or the policy not paid.

The judge threw the case out, saying that if the guy knew the plane would crash, he wouldn't have taken he flight.

[sidebar] I was selected for jury duty in Las Vegas, and the DA came in and addressed us, thanking us for showing up. He said that many cases, where the accused is flat-out guilty, are quickly settled when he sees the jury lining up and just pleads guilty.

There were over 60 of us and I was not selected. They said that those who wanted out to see the clerk. The guy ahead of me said that he had already lost a days pay and couldn't afford another loss. He got off. I told the clerk I lived 90 miles away. He wondered why they called me in the first place and let me off. Waaay past the age cutoff now, so no longer have to worry about that any more.

[Hebrews 11:6]

Perhaps you can clear up something for me, since I finished school ‘way back in the ‘60s. My observation then was that the class clown was so busy finding ways to be amusing that he seldom absorbed the benefit of the day’s lesson. Have you also noticed that?

[blueunicorn6]

I was actually quite impressed with the Judge and the attorneys and the court personnel.

I think that our judicial system is pretty good.

I’m scared to death of my fellow citizens, though.

In my State, they use a list of people with a drivers license to select potential jurors from. I’m used to getting honked at and flipped off. That’s when I see my Mom. Other drivers do it to me, too. What I worry about is these Virtue Signalers. They REALLY want everyone to understand how good they are.

I’m afraid that I’ll run a yellow light and some Virtue Signaler will chase me down and tell me how they passed the drivers exam with a perfect score and they’ve never had a ticket or an accident and that they should be a traffic cop and then I’ll have to run them over and then I’LL be sitting in a court as they pick a jury for my trial.

My advice to my lawyer will be, “Ask them if there’s any dirty liars in the group and excuse those who don’t raise their hands.”

Maybe I just ran into a bad lot.

[Cementjungle]

Some years back, a guy bought temp life insurance for a flight he was taking. Plane crashed, guy dies. His widow was hauled into court, either by the IRS or the insurance company, saying the guy took out the insurance knowing he would die, so either tax would be withheld, or the policy not paid.

The judge threw the case out, saying that if the guy knew the plane would crash, he wouldn't have taken he flight.

Interesting... what if the guy had just been diagnosed with some terminal disease and he wanted to leave his family in good shape financially? Buy a policy and somehow make the plane crash.

[discostu]

I went to jury duty 3 times. Never even got in the court room, total waste of time, started throwing out the cards. I’d actually LIKE to serve on a jury, but I don’t want to sit in an over lit room with over load TVs for half a day and get nowhere near being a juror. Maybe after I retire and my time exists only to be wasted.

[snarkpup]

“we don’t deny anything that has been said in this trial, we just ask for mercy for my client”

The last time I was called to jury duty, it was a murder trial. The defendant's public defender admitted the guy was a scumbag (or words to that effect) and guilty. He asked that the jury aquit if they were only 99.99% sure. The jury ended up convicting him on a lesser charge.

[Responsibility2nd]

When I returned with my appropriate attire, they had me sign in and go and sit in an oven. It was roasting in the jury room. All 70 or 80 of us potential jurors were jammed into a room not much larger than a dorm room.

__________________________________________

Here in San Antonio, our jury room - even in summer - is cold enough to hang meat in. You’d best wear long sleeves; maybe even a light coat.

[Responsibility2nd]

No.....just kidding. Though I do think that every American should pull Al Franken's shorts over his head.

 

Al doesn't wear shorts. He wears these.

 

And one better leave them alone. They could be loaded.

[Oldexpat]

The last time I served in CA, they didn’t even ask for our ID.

[blueunicorn6]

No.

Oh, you’re teaching me a lesson.

You’re trying to use the Socratic Method to teach me by asking me questions.

If you want to come over, I’ll show you the peripatetic method where I teach you by walking around while I ask you questions.

There is not just one way to teach.

Humor can sometimes unlock the mind.

We have had an examination of the jury selection process. It caused people to think and in some instances to laugh.

An examination of this process is a good thing, not a bad thing.

And if you can’t take a joke, well, take a break.

[Veto!]

Point taken. I was on a jury for a drunk driving case in Michigan. I am not a drinker and have little sympathy for drunks, but the state failed to make the case, imo, so voted to acquit. Talking to lawyers later, they were amazed that I, that sweet little housewife, was the holdout; I was never called again.

Wonder why.

[jim_trent]

I have been called for jury duty twice. Here, they send you a paper form to fill out before reporting. One of the questions is “what are you employed at”. I answered truthfully. I am (or was, I am retired now) a structural engineer. I was never asked to report for selection. I strongly feel that they don’t want engineers on jury duty.

[sphinx]

We submitted our questions to the judge. I don't remember them all, but they were rather straightforward. Two men were in a car when stopped by a police officer. Only one man appeared in court, and he disputed the officer's account. Where was the other one and why didn't he testify? A gun was discovered. Whose gun was it? Was it stolen? Was it linked ballistically to any crime? The whole thing started as a routine traffic stop on the two men, who were from out of town and had turned the wrong way on a one way street in the wee hours of the morning. That's a mistake anyone can make at 4:00 a.m. when there is no traffic around, but what were they doing in DC driving around at 4:00 a.m. in the first place (they were from New York, and therefore not to be trusted), and whose car was it anyhow? That sort of thing. We all thought there was something else in play, and we were not being told what it was.

Underlying all this was the jury's mystification that such a case -- a routine traffic stop compounded by the discovery of a gun in the car -- was coming before a jury to begin with. The only thing I could think of is that DC's draconian gun control law was driving the manipulation. At the time, getting caught with a gun would lead to being drawn and quartered, disembowled, burned and beheaded, and everyone, including the prosecution, may have been angling for a lesser penalty. But then, why was the charge brought to begin with?

The defense attorney's closing argument ended with, "Deciding a case is like putting together a puzzle. To vote for conviction, you have to have all the pieces. And in this case, you don't have all the pieces." I'm sure I'm not the only juror who was thinking, "You %$?!**!+@)/, or words to that effect. We knew we didn't have all the pieces. We had asked the judge some very simple questions simply to assemble a reasonable picture of the case, and we had been stiffed. It was obvious that this was a rigged, keep-the-jury-in-the-dark mock trial. The entire jury was aggravated.

[Responsibility2nd]

I used to live in a suburb. I got called to jury duty in that small municipal court.

Turned out some moron wants a trial by jury to contest his freaking speeding ticket. We in the jury pool had to sit around in folding chairs in the hot stuffy bay of the local fire station for a couple of hours. Man were we mad!

I didn’t get selected. I trust those that did found the fool guilty as hell.

[Hebrews 11:6]

I, too, was once on a jury where we KNEW the defendant was guilty but the prosecutor (in this case, the feds--the charge was passport fraud) failed to make the case. We all agreed, unlike you as the lone holdout, and actually returned an acquittal--it was that prosecutor's first loss ever, and he sat there stunned.

On the courthouse steps afterward I was discussing the prosection's shortcomings with the State Dept. agent who sat next to the prosecutor--he agreed wholeheartedly with the necessity for our verdict--when out walked the defendant. He was joking around with the agent when I lit into him, telling him heatedly how guilty we knew he was and that only our respect for the law, something he did not possess, had kept him out of prison. I never saw such a shocked look on anyone's face as his during my diatribe. The agent thought it was hilarious and richly deserved.

[snarkpup]

The last time I served in CA, they didn’t even ask for our ID.

Yep, the incident I described, with the guy who couldn't speak English, was when I lived in CA.

[Hebrews 11:6]

I have often shared your keen frustration at wondering about gaps in the evidence, testimony, explanations, and motivations. Lately it seems there is some movement to permit jurors' questions, but it's still very limited. A lot of the mystery is due simply, I think, to attorneys' (including judges') incompetence at failing to anticipate jurors' legitimate needs--not to mention, as you imply, hidden nefarious motives.

Generally, attorneys and judges are exempt, I believe, from jury service themselves and so have missed the experience personally of wondering as you and I have. The main safeguard on which they rely is the adversarial system, which they trust will surface everything actually necessary--but, of course, we've found that to be often insufficient.