Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell
In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.
Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.
The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.
That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.
Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.
In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.
Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
LOL! No goats for me. I had to tend them as a kid. Smelly, ornery lot. Can’t stand ‘em - unless they’re in a gyro! :)
Exactly.
‘Santa’ brought us an Insta-Pot for Christmas. We’re anxious to give that a try. My sister loves hers and uses it a lot.
Stampy Longnose and the mind molesters at the Public Indoctrination Camps.
What is that?
WAY too complicated.
I got me one of these. No computer to go flooey.
https://www.allamericancanner.com/
I'm gonna guess the Ag kids will make it through the Zombie Apocalypse...there are many here in Wyoming like her.
Back in the day any young guy worth his salt could drive a 4-on-the-floor stick shift with his left arm resting on the open drivers window, his right arm holding his best girl close, while drinking a beer and smoking a Lucky Strike.
>>Ive found NOTHING that works to train pet goats; to do ANYTHNG!<<
Have you tried salted fries or potato chips?
I have both, now. When I was retiring from Jung Garden Center, I used my discount and bonus $$ to buy every canning gadget I’d ever want. And a light cart for starting veggie plants and growing greens indoors all winter long.
Life Is Good! :)
I just went out and bought a 6 pack of 2 qt canning jars.
Our old poorly built farm style kitchen cupboards are not mouse proof.
While I was digging for the brown sugar, I found the bag with a hole chewed in it. Then a couple more.
That’s it for me.
ALL the baking stuff in in canning jars now, flour, sugar, brown sugar, rice, etc. Nice thing it, the sugar and brown sugar won’t get hard as a rock any more either.
Keeps it cleaner too. No ooops, knocking the bag over to have it spill all over the place.
We have a farmhouse from 1900 and no indoor cats, so there are always a few mouse ‘incidents’ in the fall here, too.
I’ve always kept my baking items in Tupperware, but I keep rice and pasta and granola in the big Ball jars. I have some really old blue ones with the metal screw-tops on display in the Pantry, the oldest being from 1910!
This link is helpful for dating older canning jars:
http://www.minnetrista.net/blog/2013/06/27/ball-family-history/how-to-date-a-ball-jar/
I’m kind of a Mason Jar nut, LOL!
Clutch ‘cables’ suck!
Seems like they are priced about what they are worth. ;^)
My boys are wethers so not so smelly.
Ornery?
INDEED!
How we ended up with goats is a long story.
(She only wanted a duck...)
The medicinal kind; Dude?
Five star reviews are a good thing.
Yeah.
Rural kids will tend to do fine.
The city ones? Well; they survive if there are enough other corpses to munch on.
It trained them to step on my toes if I don’t deliver them fast enough!
That’s why Grannie’s storage cubbard had tin lining!
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