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Survey finds millennials lack basic survival skills
NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune ^ | 1/13/17 | Todd Masson, NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune

Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell

In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.

Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.

The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.

That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.

Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.

In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.

Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since

(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: adulthood; apocalypse; beprepared; millennials; nancyboys; preppers; shtf; snowflakes; survey; survivalskills; thewalkingdead; zombieapocalypse; zombies
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To: BBell

I haven’t seen 3 on a tree anywhere since the mid 80s and what ones there were happened to be on 60s era stuff.

I’m left handed so I might have done OK with Japanese style.


41 posted on 01/13/2017 6:06:26 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: MeganC
I'd think we do pretty good Megan Dear. ;)

But then your Husband isn't a Millennial either. He is Gen X?

42 posted on 01/13/2017 6:07:19 PM PST by KC_Lion ("I'm a believer that you don't need a title, and you don't need an office to make a difference"~S.P.)
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To: HartleyMBaldwin

Out of all the vehicles I’ve had there were only 2 automatics.

One was 2003 Ranger XLT I wore out and 2012 Tacoma that got sunk and me almost with it.


43 posted on 01/13/2017 6:07:37 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: BBell
OK. I'll accept the premise: "millennials" suck.

Now riddle me this, Batman: WHO RAISED THEM????

44 posted on 01/13/2017 6:10:59 PM PST by NorthMountain (Los Angeles Times is Fake News)
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To: wally_bert

You’ve likely owned more vehicles than I have (I tend to keep them until they’re used up or destroyed), but nearly all of mine have been manuals also. Several VWs, sedans and buses, and a few pickups. My wife owned a 1979 Nova with an automatic when we met, but she prefers a manual too. Since she’s from North Carolina, she refers to it as a straight drive, though.


45 posted on 01/13/2017 6:21:35 PM PST by HartleyMBaldwin
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To: BBell; Alex Murphy; bkaycee; boatbums; CynicalBear; daniel1212; dragonblustar; Dutchboy88; ...

Ping to post 25 for a laugh.....


46 posted on 01/13/2017 6:41:20 PM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: BBell

You about owed me a new monitor and keyboard.


47 posted on 01/13/2017 6:41:59 PM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: BBell

My first car was a Firebird Formula with four on the floor.

I learned to drive a stick and owed a couple. Mr. mm still drives a stick but I got lazy and switched to automatic, but still can drive a stick any time I want.

I taught my kids how to as well, and they are millennials.

But they are conservative as well and and while not survivalist (they laugh at my prepping) stand a FAR better chance of survival than others their age. They are very outdoor oriented and not afraid of guns.


48 posted on 01/13/2017 6:46:07 PM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: wally_bert

An ice chest/cooler will substitute nicely for the cardboard box you’ll need to collect up the parts she’ll deposit on the pavement.


49 posted on 01/13/2017 7:20:36 PM PST by MHGinTN (A dispensational perspective is a powerful tool for spiritual discernment)
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To: MHGinTN

The thought has occurred to me that the old 3 speed might not survive. I figure low range would be safe enough for a few tests.

Jeeps like mine are dual lever transfer cases. I can get low range and not engage the front shaft.

Reman transmissions for mine are available for about grand.


50 posted on 01/13/2017 7:23:44 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin; appalachian_dweller; OldPossum; DuncanWaring; VirginiaMom; CodeToad; goosie; ...
Prepper ping !

In tough and necessity times, can you drive 'stick shift' ?
I personally know of a car theft that was stymied by the 'perp' not knowing stick shift
How about you ?

Hat tip to Diana in Wisconsin missing her 'Beau'
but enjoying her zucchini fries

51 posted on 01/13/2017 7:24:00 PM PST by Tilted Irish Kilt (Muslim & Spanish migrants are like Kudzu-> designed to overload the system= Cloward-Piven)
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To: metmom

A dying breed for sure...those of us who know how to drive a stick.


52 posted on 01/13/2017 7:33:56 PM PST by ealgeone
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To: Seruzawa

My 15 yo son can drive 3 on the tree. I wonder what percentage of the entire population can do that?


53 posted on 01/13/2017 7:41:25 PM PST by Clay Moore (JRandomFreeper, SWAMPSNIPER RIP)
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To: BBell

I didn’t know how to drive a stick either as a spoiled little 16 year old girl, until daddy bought me a little sports car and I learned on the way home from the dealership. It is not that hard. I was clearly a millennial snowflake before it was cool.


54 posted on 01/13/2017 7:43:14 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: Lord Castlereagh

I agree. It’s been old for years now. I tried to watch the walking dead but it just wasn’t my thing. On netflix there is a show called “Z Nation” that I have watched. I like it because it has some good ole gallows/morbid humor in it.


55 posted on 01/13/2017 7:44:13 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: NorthMountain

their parents.


56 posted on 01/13/2017 7:48:14 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: Tilted Irish Kilt

I’m not missing him THAT much...more Zucchini Fries for ME! ;)


57 posted on 01/13/2017 8:05:49 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust Post-Apocalyptic skill set!)
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To: wally_bert

My 17 year old drives my manual trans car every day.


58 posted on 01/13/2017 8:08:33 PM PST by cyclotic (Republicans Are without excuse. Flood the Resolute Desk with sane legislation.)
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To: BBell

Most millennial’s could not get lad with then help of a hooker, vitamin-Vby-step guide.

They have huge thumbs though.


59 posted on 01/13/2017 8:16:15 PM PST by WMarshal ( Schadenfreude, it feels so good!)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin
I said : "Hat tip to Diana in Wisconsin missing her 'Beau'
but enjoying her zucchini fries "

I didn't say that you share well.. with others !!
especially in these cold climes, where the zucchini grows slow, ..if at all !
Does Seneca appreciate your cooking and fries ? I do appreciate the 'heads up' tip, though ! TY !

60 posted on 01/13/2017 8:30:54 PM PST by Tilted Irish Kilt (Muslim & Spanish migrants are like Kudzu-> designed to overload the system= Cloward-Piven)
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