Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell
In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.
Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.
The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.
That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.
Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.
In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.
Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
So?
I'd bet that MOST Amewricans do!
Mine spun a bearing on 495 (L.I.E.) one hot summer day. Rebuilt to spec.
You don’t come here for the hunting; do you...
Why would they be breaking into a museum?
bingo
bingo
Although my tractor, various lawn mowers and a motorcycle or two...
I’ve found NOTHING that works to ‘train’ pet goats; to do ANYTHNG!
Well; rattling an empty potato chip bag WILL get them running from far out in the pasture to the barn.
Silly things NEVER figger out they’re being scammed once again.
Yes; a lot of us are self taught.
But remember; we grew up when things were actually FIXABLE!
Today it is economically incorrect to repair any complex thing that is broken.
At least most any shift they'd likely come across will NOT have straight cut gears!
(I'm sure a lot of us old coots learned how to shift gears with OUT using the clutch; right?)
I assure any boy that grew up South of Thibodaux, Louisiana knows how to hunt, fish, shoot, build a fire, shoot bad guys and survive.
VW vans had that long clutch cable, very prone to break. I carried a spare, of course, but I used to drive around for days (sometimes a week or more) without the clutch, until I felt like rolling around underneath to replace the cable.
I’ve taught a few people to drive clutchless as well. The problem is that for quite a few years now, everything has that safety switch so you can’t start the engine in gear. Still have to use the clutch from a dead stop (unless you bypass the switch), but then you’re OK. Parking so you can roll down a hill is another option.
And you’re right, synchro makes it a whole lot easier.
Aside from survival skills, there’s just basic housekeeping skills.
Many years ago one of the neighborhood girls, about 6 at the time, was watching me make mashed potatoes (through the kitchen door, and as I was at the stove doing them, she asked me what I was doing.
I told her I was making mashed potatoes.
Then she asked me, innocent as could be, with all sincerity, (quote) “Why don’t you make them the homemade way, in the microwave?” (I can still see this in my mind’s eye) and I said to her, “This is just a different kind of homemade way.”
And this had to be 20 years ago, easily.
So many kids these days lack any kind of skill in putting up food.
I learned to can and freeze from my mom and kept it up. Now I do canning and pressure canning and freeze what doesn’t can well.
Whenever we have turkey, I make soup out of the carcass and pressure can the meat and broth. It keeps way better than freezing it, don’t have to worry about power loss and losing the food. And any time someone wants a meal of turkey soup, I can grab a can off the shelf and throw in some veggies and *instant* fresh soup.
We could live months on what I have in my basement.
But when I tell people that I pressure can, their reaction is mostly *You can DO that?*
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Oh! 21twelve! Yes! The test drive was where I first attempted the stick shift!!! And how did I know I was destined to have that car? It literally ran out of gas on the test drive, 3 blocks from the dealership. It was used, and the gas gauge was a little “off” with its pointers and did not get all the way to the red bar when it was quite empty, and stayed like that the whole decade I terrorized the canyons of LA with that car. I liked to go fast and I NEVER got a ticket.... probably 100 or more “warnings,” though.... Driving while young and blonde.... Life just isn’t fair.
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