Trump- Ted ol'buddy, how are you? You're a great guy. The BEST! Say, are you folks looking to buy a car? you should buy from me. I'm the best car salesman. The BEST! Nobody sells cars like me, Nobody.
Cruz- What?
Trump- Fords are great cars. The BEST! Did you know they get 200 miles to the gallon? They never break down, and they don't rust, if you buy it from me.
Customers- Really? That sounds great!
Cruz- None of that is true.
Trump- You don't even have to pay for it. Your neighbors will pay. The car will be free. I can get it for you for free. I'm the BEST!
Customers- Wow! That's great.
Cruz- He doesn't even work here.
Trump- LIAR! HE'S SUCH A LIAR! ALL HE DOES IS LIE! AND HE'S UGLY! I HATE HIM!
Cruz- Donald doesn't work here, he's an eccentric billionaire that likes to pretend he is a car salesman. He's never sold a car, I dont think he even knows how to drive.
Trump- LIAR! UGLY LIAR! I'M THE BEST DRIVER. THE BEST. NOBODY DRIVES LIKE ME! And I'm the best car salesman. Did you know this car was made by elves? It doesnt even need gas. Its fantastic!
Customers- That's amazing!
Cruz- Donald, you have to leave, the manager called the cops.
Trump- Cops love me, and I love them. They're great. Have you seen my wife? She's beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world! She's great! You know what else is great? Fords. They're the best. I wouldn't ride in anything else.
Cruz- There is a Bently stretch limo right outside with your name on it in 3 ft high letters. It just dropped you off.
Trump- YOU UGLY LIAR! YOU SMELL! AND YOU BEAT YOUR WIFE! AND KIDS! AND THEY'RE UGLY.
Cruz- It's right there, outside the window.
Trump- LIAR!
Cruz- I heard you just bought a fleet of Chevy's for your company and invested heavily in GM 6 weeks ago.
Trump- FORD KILLS PEOPLE! THEY SELL DEFECTIVE CARS THAT ROLL OVER AND KILL PEOPLE! THEY KNEW ABOUT IT AND LIED. PEOPLE DIED! THEY'RE MURDERERS, AND YOU'RE A MURDERER. AND YOU'RE UGLY. (Storms away and leaves.)
Customer- So about that free car made by elves...
What’s a Bently?
Rubio supporter?
Or stealth troll?
You made that up all by yourself, didn’t you?
It’s a deal.
You shouldn’t quit your day job, that’s for sure.
Cruz would sell more cars for less profit and harder work than the Don who would sell the least amount of cars for the highest profit and least effort.
ROFLMAO
Man, did that routine stink. The word funny never comes to mind. Back to the drawing board. Actually, never mind, your next routine would undoubtedly be even worse. Geez, was this a bomb, or what?
Trying way to hard forced humor epic fail here
So funny I forgot to laugh.
LOL...funny...But dutifully don your tinfoil....some here cant take a joke......Watch!...You’ll be called every name in the book!....3......2....1 !
That’s awesome!
Thanks for the bit of levity, albeit, at Trumps expense, before we crawl into our respective trenches for the daily Trump/Cruz volley.
hahaha! You summed it up pretty good.
That was really good. Well done!
Pretty accurate description of Cruz. Gets job at car dealership, sits around arguing and talking about how smart he is instead of doing actual work.
However, I think it is a bit ironic that you cast Cruz as a car salesman. That is a perfect analogy for a BigGov Pol, but doesn't reflect well on the character of Cruz.
That's what I don't want, more slick BigGov lawyer politician car salesmen. Don't trust them don't want them.
Donald Trump is a pragmatic business man in his heart of hearts. He has also has mastered the art of mass communication. He is a fighter and a winner. He is not owned.
Your story was interesting but falls apart in reality.
Cruz - Well yes, this car is assembled in America (with Canadian parts).