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If Cruz and Trump Sold Cars
February 25, 2016 | Brooklyn Attitude

Posted on 02/25/2016 5:17:05 AM PST by Brooklyn Attitude

Ted Cruz is in the showroom talking to customers looking to buy a car when Trump walks in.


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KEYWORDS: comedy; cruz; trump
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Ted Cruz is in the showroom talking to customers looking to buy a car when Trump walks in.

Trump- Ted ol'buddy, how are you? You're a great guy. The BEST! Say, are you folks looking to buy a car? you should buy from me. I'm the best car salesman. The BEST! Nobody sells cars like me, Nobody.

Cruz- What?

Trump- Fords are great cars. The BEST! Did you know they get 200 miles to the gallon? They never break down, and they don't rust, if you buy it from me.

Customers- Really? That sounds great!

Cruz- None of that is true.

Trump- You don't even have to pay for it. Your neighbors will pay. The car will be free. I can get it for you for free. I'm the BEST!

Customers- Wow! That's great.

Cruz- He doesn't even work here.

Trump- LIAR! HE'S SUCH A LIAR! ALL HE DOES IS LIE! AND HE'S UGLY! I HATE HIM!

Cruz- Donald doesn't work here, he's an eccentric billionaire that likes to pretend he is a car salesman. He's never sold a car, I dont think he even knows how to drive.

Trump- LIAR! UGLY LIAR! I'M THE BEST DRIVER. THE BEST. NOBODY DRIVES LIKE ME! And I'm the best car salesman. Did you know this car was made by elves? It doesnt even need gas. Its fantastic!

Customers- That's amazing!

Cruz- Donald, you have to leave, the manager called the cops.

Trump- Cops love me, and I love them. They're great. Have you seen my wife? She's beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world! She's great! You know what else is great? Fords. They're the best. I wouldn't ride in anything else.

Cruz- There is a Bently stretch limo right outside with your name on it in 3 ft high letters. It just dropped you off.

Trump- YOU UGLY LIAR! YOU SMELL! AND YOU BEAT YOUR WIFE! AND KIDS! AND THEY'RE UGLY.

Cruz- It's right there, outside the window.

Trump- LIAR!

Cruz- I heard you just bought a fleet of Chevy's for your company and invested heavily in GM 6 weeks ago.

Trump- FORD KILLS PEOPLE! THEY SELL DEFECTIVE CARS THAT ROLL OVER AND KILL PEOPLE! THEY KNEW ABOUT IT AND LIED. PEOPLE DIED! THEY'RE MURDERERS, AND YOU'RE A MURDERER. AND YOU'RE UGLY. (Storms away and leaves.)

Customer- So about that free car made by elves...

1 posted on 02/25/2016 5:17:05 AM PST by Brooklyn Attitude
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

What’s a Bently?


2 posted on 02/25/2016 5:19:42 AM PST by RoosterRedux (When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction. - Mark Twain)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Rubio supporter?

Or stealth troll?


3 posted on 02/25/2016 5:21:37 AM PST by airborne
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

You made that up all by yourself, didn’t you?


4 posted on 02/25/2016 5:21:47 AM PST by Bartholomew Roberts
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

It’s a deal.


5 posted on 02/25/2016 5:21:58 AM PST by Raycpa
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

You shouldn’t quit your day job, that’s for sure.


6 posted on 02/25/2016 5:21:59 AM PST by major-pelham
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Cruz would sell more cars for less profit and harder work than the Don who would sell the least amount of cars for the highest profit and least effort.


7 posted on 02/25/2016 5:22:33 AM PST by Fhios (circa 2016: Truth will be outlawed unless pre-approved.)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude
LOL....that DOES sound like Trump on the campaign trail.
8 posted on 02/25/2016 5:22:50 AM PST by TXSearcher (If it walks like a liberal, talks like a liberal........it IS a LIBERAL.)
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To: airborne

Cruz troll.


9 posted on 02/25/2016 5:24:54 AM PST by 9YearLurker
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

ROFLMAO


10 posted on 02/25/2016 5:25:23 AM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Man, did that routine stink. The word funny never comes to mind. Back to the drawing board. Actually, never mind, your next routine would undoubtedly be even worse. Geez, was this a bomb, or what?


11 posted on 02/25/2016 5:27:00 AM PST by flaglady47 (TRUMP ROCKS)
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To: 9YearLurker

An example of the Cruz desperation. But for Trump, Cruz might be winning.


12 posted on 02/25/2016 5:28:17 AM PST by Sasparilla (Hillary for Prosecution 2016)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Trying way to hard forced humor epic fail here


13 posted on 02/25/2016 5:29:22 AM PST by MNJohnnie ( Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

So funny I forgot to laugh.


14 posted on 02/25/2016 5:30:08 AM PST by showme_the_Glory ((ILLEGAL: prohibited by law. ALIEN: Owing political allegiance to another country or government))
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

LOL...funny...But dutifully don your tinfoil....some here cant take a joke......Watch!...You’ll be called every name in the book!....3......2....1 !


15 posted on 02/25/2016 5:31:08 AM PST by M-cubed
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

That’s awesome!


16 posted on 02/25/2016 5:31:16 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (I don't want better government; I want much less of it.)
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

17 posted on 02/25/2016 5:31:34 AM PST by Donglalinger
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To: Brooklyn Attitude

Thanks for the bit of levity, albeit, at Trumps expense, before we crawl into our respective trenches for the daily Trump/Cruz volley.


18 posted on 02/25/2016 5:31:48 AM PST by corbe (mystified)
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To: HereInTheHeartland

Its awesome; but the TRUMP supporters have NO sense of humor.


19 posted on 02/25/2016 5:32:14 AM PST by HereInTheHeartland (I don't want better government; I want much less of it.)
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To: airborne

“Rubio supporter? Or stealth troll?”

Wrong on both. How the heck do you get Rubio supporter from this?


20 posted on 02/25/2016 5:32:18 AM PST by Brooklyn Attitude (It's the apocalypse, lets have some fun!)
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