Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Good Morning,
Hopee finde well this morrow. :)
Try typing that through Autocowrecker.
I believe ‘check and mate’ come to mind. :D
BREXIT and soar!
William of Orange?
They come to the UK in their droves for Vacations and are most welcome. It must be the exotic beaches that attract them:
Well those, but also the lovely tank farm to the right.
Morning, guys. The children liked the raccoon picture best. We’ll be off to swim test for day camp soon. My obsessive-compulsive disorder and I made up a set of take-a-number cards, so that those who arrive first can get out first. Since I go to the trouble of arriving a half hour earlier, I’m not going to be behind people who couldn’t be bothered!
Beaches of rocks aren’t very popular in the U.S.
Good morning.
It rained. 78, S @ 11 mph, 42%, light rain.
(We seldom ever get higher than 60%, even if it rains for days. Desert, dontchaknow.)
I managed to sleep until 0415 and that was good, though I did wake up at 0318 - I managed to go back to sleep.
Now I’m trying to wake up.
I think that company has my name or email flagged, because they not only sent me a confirmation email, but the took the money out of the account in a timely manner. YAY! I still cringe when I think of doing business with them. *shudder*
That is beautiful, Moosie! I’ve read so much about The Lake District, and now I see that it is truly beautiful.
(Is that you, waving to the camera?)
Good morning. I dreamed I got a tattoo (from Chris the snake-breeder, who was my co-leader in Cub Scouts three years. He has a tattoo.) It was weird, because I took an oath that I would never get a tattoo (not that I want one).
I think I dreamed about it because I talked to a friend at church yesterday who had recently been on a motorcycle trip with a group from a Baptist church. I’ve also taken an oath not to ride a motorcycle.
Ha-ha! That quacks me up!
Haha!
The tank farn got my interest immediately. I’m sure I would always be working on a tan on my back, being so fascinated by the lovely tank farm behind the lovely pebble beach. *Ouch*
I like riding pillion, but here, well, let’s just say, for now, I’ll leave motorcycle riding to those with less fear of mortality than I.
“Beaches of rocks aren’t very popular in the U.S.”
That is a shame, you’re all really missing out. :)
There is plenty of sand for the sandcastle enthusiast to enjoy.
The squeaking sands are the weirdest. All of the grains are the same round shape. When you walk on it ,it literally Squeaks.
I have to say your enthusiasm for the Tank Farm is great!
A package tour of Industrial beaches could be arranged, if there are any takers.... I know this lovely hidden Oil field on Purbeck...
LoL.(Diving for cover)
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