Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Little known fact about hoop ear rings.
A long forgotten entrepreneur started market them as items from which to hang your keys, lest onr forget them. The constant jangling was hoped to serve as an aural reminder as to where the darn things were. Alas, the western world was not yet ready for the elongated Ubangi earlobe look.
But today....?
Hope it's not as serious as when the assorted constabularies (County Sheriffs and NY Staties) surrounded the across-the-road-and-to-the-east neighbor's house because he threatened to shoot his wife.. ;-)
There’s no sign of weapons, just a lot of people hanging around talking with a couple of Deputy Sheriffs. I heard (because they were on my side of the street) one of the deputies telling some people that “She’s intimidated by her stepfather,” which seems entirely reasonable since my girls have always said, “He’s mean.”
Which could all mean nothing but his expecting her not to be a total screwup, but who knows. I consider myself fortunate that none of my teenagers has ever tried the law enforcement gambit to get his/her way.
Maybe people had fewer keys then. I’d be in traction before there was time for my earlobe to pull down!
Ohnoes! You don’t have AAA? They unlocked my car door for nothing. Which is why I have them, because I don’t want to pay for the stupidity I exhibit at times. ;o]
Maybe the Law Enforcement Event will prove to be newsworthy. We have them too frequently, here.
Oh. And the latest twist? One of the peeps is trying to get me to agree to be the secretary for the resident council. I don’t know the first thing about secretarying. I understand why she asked me, but that doesn’t mean I appreciate the request. CFIDS is far too unpredictable for me to be anything but relapsing or remissioning. (I like making up my own words!)
I do have AAA, but my card was in my purse locked in the car, with the rest of my useful attributes (other than Tom and my debit card).
Besides, I’m sure a locksmith being paid by me up front was much faster (15 min) that whoever AAA would have called.
*groan*
Thanks. I needed that... I think. ;o]
Pat already knew the answer, but it was new to me.
Oh. But AAA should have your name and phone numbers on file and can look up your membership that way. I don’t think I’ve ever had to wait more than 30 minutes, no matter where I pull a stupid trick. And that’s more often than I like to admit, but I always off it onto CFIDS... ;o]
I was afraid I was going to have another knock-down, drag-out with the company I ordered Chuck’s clothes from, but I just checked my email a few minutes ago, and there was a confirmation email from them. Gloriosky! It even had an order number so at least I may be able to track it.
I should have known what was coming, considering who it was from — *haha*
I’m glad it went well this time.
I’m going to search for a few more garage sale items.
I’m glad it wasn’t any more painful than $75.
And with that, I’ll be heading for the blanket show.
See all y’all tomorrow!
Hope you have a good night!
$75 to unlock....where did he drive from, Oregon?
Matthews - just up the road.
I could have waited for a Sheriff’s department officer to come in for a snack (said the employees), but we had other things to do with the day.

Lake district.
LOL!
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