Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yes, that’s true, but I’ve been there twice in the last two days, and I’m already OD’d. :o|
*blargh*
Okers.
Practice this phrase; "Life is too short for me to ever apologize to you again for anything."
Then sip your coffee.
.
Somewhere in the middle chapters of "Bob's Book of Painfully Obvious Etiquette", there's some advice about apologies. "Never apologize more than once."
The idea is that an apology may be, and usually is, required in certain situations; but the truth of human nature is that a second apology is merely an invitation to be insulted.
So don't do it.
I don’t think you need to apologize any further because someone else got upset about your facts. Her problem, not yours!
It seems like some days you really like the company, but other days it’s not fun.
Having thought about it occasionally during the night, I’m thinking it’s still a good idea to stay away for a while. The gal that went off on me is my immediate neighbor to the west (same building) and has a little dog. When she isn’t working, she brings the dog down for the treats that Chuck gives her. I’m sure if I were there, she wouldn’t do that and the dog isn’t going to understand. So I’ll wait a bit until she cools off (which may be weeks, knowing her) and stay home. Lord knows, I have enough to do in here to keep me busy.
I don’t think anyone will miss me, anyway. The one person who is “brave” enough to debate with me has been unavailable for two weeks, and won’t be able to come out for another week because she has two of her grandkids with her.
Thanks for the encouraging words, folks. In a few minutes, I’ll take some Armor-All to the bumpy bits on the truck to make it look spiffy. Before the sun is over the yardarm...
Cute little squee floof!
Good morning! I’m finishing up cooking for the Missionaries of the Poor and plan to get underway with several Offspring by 9:00 EDT.
I went out and spiffed up the truck a bit, and wished I had the energy to use buffing compound to get rid of the oxidation. It would REALLY look nice, then. Still, it looks better than it did.
The pattern for my simple dress came yesterday, and I’m thinking of making it in gray, something...pretty. When the current “heat wave” (three days) is over, I’ll go to JoAnn’s and see what I can find for not a lot of money. It has been so long since I made anything, I hope I don’t forget the rudiments of the craft. I’ve been sewing since I was 10, so I would hate to lose the talent now.
Today, I’ll try to make the copies James wants, and then I will work on the floors. And with any luck sometime in the next month, I’ll get the rug shampooed.
I also have to take the truck in for the tires to be rotated ($0) and for servicing ($40) and I can’t wait too long...it’s been a year for both. I’ll just have to see how much money I have left. I hope i can squeeze it out.
Claustrophobic and terrifying.
The movie and the remake were pale shadows of the story.
Publish that book, please?
I'm still gathering material.
In the meantime, console yourself with this one: "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior".
Be sure to read it thoroughly.
Happy Birthday!
Hi, all y’all. We had a lovely time at Missionaries of the Poor, and now I’m going to go lie down for an hour or so. Maybe Jake will find me.
I went out and sat with the peeps and it was only Charlie and I.
And now, I’m doing the floors. I got them all swept and took the rugs out and shook them, and got the bathroom floor mopped, and will take a break before I start to mop the kitchen floor.
Then I’ll mop around the edges here in the living room and finally, vacuum. And yes, I DO have to shampoo the rug ASAP. It’s pretty dirty.
Two more peeps joined us, just as my alarm went off for my noon pills, so I came in.
I can’t decide if I will go to church tomorrow, or not. I will decide for sure when i wake up. But I have my clothes laid out, just in case. :o])
You’ve been busy! I could sleep longer, but I need a shower before I head out again. And a Diet Coke.
Yep. But nobody else is going to do the work, so I have to. I don’t even have kids to delegate to!
Last week, I found some Dad’s Rootbeer and my only mistake was in buying just one bottle! Talk about memories!
Anyway, I just have the living room to do, now, and I’m getting tired and sweaty.
My right arm is covered with red marks from bumping against something with fragile skin, due to blood thinners (baby aspirin.) I look like a refugee from a fight club. :o|
I never developed a taste for Coke, having been brought up in an area where RC Cola was prevalent and in demand because of its lack of caffeine. When I can’t get it, I drink Pepsi, but not very often.
Now I need to finish and call it a day. I will rest up a bit and cool off for a while, then maybe do a crossword puzzle (online) and that will be it until Monday, when it’s time for washing sheets and towels. *ungh*
Wish I could make some potato salad and fry up come chicken and have a semi-quasi picnic on the patio. I think I need to get a fan to put out there so I can sit in the early mornings, before the sun gets too high. Or even in the later mornings! :o]
I have been given a reprieve from providing music tomorrow, and the Pastor is sick and won't be there...
So...
I need to figure out what congregation I will inflict my radical rightwing conservative Christian self on tomorrow. There are several deserving congregations that are not liberal wackos within suitable driving distance.
You could always come and celebrate with the congregation of the Church of Bob, but you'll have to bring your own beer.
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