Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Congratulations!
I went upstairs to get dressed and to comb Kathleen’s hair. Soon I’ll go up again to sing a loud, annoying song at all the American Youth who are still in bed.
That’s funny...my bank won’t let me have insufficient funds. When I write a check, they take the amount out immediately.
I LIKE it!
Afternoon, Moosie!
My finger looks like it really took a beating. I’m down to just a Band-Aid on it, now, and I like it better. it’s easier to dress it. But the bruising is half-way to my wrist, as far up the pinkie as the fingernail. Looks UGLY! LOL!
Well, the money made its way into my account today and I would have gone to Wally’s, but it’s the 1st, and lots of people get paid today.
So I’ll just pay my bills today and get the other stuff tomorrow.
I thought for sure it (9000) would be taken by SOMEone by the time I got up this morning.
And I’m tired this morning. I can hardly wait for bedtime.
The forecast is for 101 today, which means I can sit with the peeps without a long-sleeved shirt or jacket. YAY! I need to get a little insulator cover for my bottled water, as it warms up too soon.
OK: Back on my head to finish the checks!!
:o])
9000!
It sounds as though your Finger could do with some counselling after that incident.
What on Earth did you actually do to it....or is that classified? :)
Before I tell you that, I will tell you that if I had used the letter opener in a “safe” method, I could very likely have stabbed my right thigh, and that could have resulted in hitting a major vein or an artery.
And so: I went to change an old flag for a new one to fly for Memorial day, and the top grommet was held to the flag with a wire tie, which was the only way it could have held on, as it looked like a makeshift flagpole, anyway.
The bottom grommet was held on by a plastic tie, and I thought it was thicker than it was. My weapon of choice was a “Samurai” letter opener, as it was the narrowest blade I had in my arsenal.
I held the flag pole above the bottom grommet and stabbed my pinky finger. And since I’m on blood thinners, it gushed out — all over the old flag. I held my arm up to reduce the bleeding, and immediately went into the bathroom and took off the pinky ring before my finger swelled up.
And the rest is history. I wrapped it with the thickest thing I had on hand (I won’t mention what it was) and went to wash my clothes. When I got done, I went to the ER, where they numbed the finger (the shots were excruciating) took two stitches and said I was done. And the item I used to rap the finger in was soaked through by the time I got to ER.
It was officially five days before payday, and the check-out nurse asked me if I was “prepared to pay the $75 co-pay for the ER, now?” I just looked at her and laughed, knowing she had my Medicare information right in front of her.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. ;o]
Could almost feel that whilst reading.
“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”
Your word is law around these parts. :)
Still curling up at the edges with the mental images.....
Yep, I could have prolonged the word count and therefore, the apprehension, but why?
I was fairly clumsy the few days before this, so I really wasn’t surprised that this happened, although I would have preferred to just eliminate the letter-opener incident altogether!
The doc said I didn’t cut a tendon (YAY) but “may have nicked” a nerve, (boo) so my fingertip is often cold; but i think the whole thing will be much better soon, as I heal very quickly for an old broad! :o]
Banks are like that. But when I wake up my ‘bank’ has insufficient funds until I make a deposit of coffee...
It is amazing that after as many years as some people in the house have known me they still insist on attempting conversation before coffee.
Then get put off because of mostly inarticulate grunts in reply.. ;-)
We went to the Scout Shop and the Salvation Army store. After lunch, we’ll see. I may need to sleep.
On my when-I-get-motivated list for today is another height decreasing treatment for my advanced grass substitute patch.
I made a motion towards that end yesterday but it was interrupted by a necessary trek to a petrol port to replenish my stock of gojuice for the Little Red Riding Thing. Then on my return from that adventure I was informed that I was required, er, I mean it was requested that I venture to the market to fetch some containers of that stuff falsely called ‘whole milk’.
Whole milk is not pasteurized, homogenized, or standardized. And if a dairy farmer had a herd of bovines that produced milk with only 3.5% butterfat, that entire herd would be called hamburger tomorrow. And that other stuff, you know, water with white coloring added, is even more unpalatable. At least to one who has had occasion to taste the real stuff from the tap.
Anyway, after completing that assignment the sun had sizzled into the western sea and so I returned the Red Riding Thing to its safespace where it awaits my return..
The sun is shining and it’s 80 degrees on the way to a projected 84, so decreasing the height of the advanced grass substitute shouldn’t be all that sweat-producing.
Tom the Son, of the Epic Fail Lawn Service, is supposed to do something about our greengrowingstuff.
I’m taking a few children to the gym.
Must snuggle!
I have always ben wildly unhappy with how my clutziness has contributed to significant bloodletting over the years.
But, fortunately, I’ve always managed to regenerate the supply.
And, yes I iz alive. Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day.
Note the new Tagline.
It’s good to see you, ArGee! Of course, payday came two days early for me, coming today instead of Friday, but because this is also the regular payday for a lot of folks, I opted to stay home and pay bills from here, and go to Wally’s early in the morning, when there aren’t many folks there but a few stalkers and the checkers.
Tomorrow, I need to go gas up the truck, head for Wally’s, then later, go to the car wash.
The doc told me not to get the bandage wet, but as I was getting out of the shower this morning, I asked myself, “Does he know how much of a Mission Impossible that is?” I had put the finger in a baggie and taped it up well, but went I got out of the shower, I realized that paper tape was not really the right tape to use for that... ;o]
It’s 98 on my patio and 3% humidity, but I think it’s “officially” 101 at McCarran. And, as usual, there is a breeze, so it isn’t too bad, out. Of course, this is the weather that sucks the moisture right out of your body.
I flew the new flag, and that’s what made my Memorial Day good. That and remembering other Memorial Days back when I was a short person, and my parents were both alive. So yes, it was good! Yours?
The new tagline is great, but it’s too sadly true.
Yeah, it would be really nice!
Afternoon, ArGee.
It looks like I have time to get Kathleen’s bath done before I take Frank to swim practice.
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