Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

Somewhere in Leicestershire.
Great job!
LOL!
Yeah.... Makes me want to start videos of mine...though he grumbles a lot. Need to be ready when he sings “Best of Sirens hits”. Boy has some range.
Only because I wasn’t home.
:o]
Rapeseed fields?
I wasn’t doing too badly this morning, and all of a sudden in the last 90 minutes, I’ve gotten really depressed.
The sock monkey kit came and I think I will look for a doll dress pattern that can be adapted to the Frozen princess, whatever her name was...
But not today. I want to go to bed and take my darn depression with me. :o[
Must have a lot of energy.
Dunno, but if they were in CANada, the seed could be pressed to extract Oil with Low erucic Acid content.. ;-)
Otherwise it gets turned into biodiesel.
I looked in all the usual hiding places and there was no sign!
Keep eyes peeled and post rapidly followed by a strategic withdrawal to observation positions. :)
Most of the Rapeseed oil is used to make cooking oil and Animal feed.
I know, and you’re awesome!!
How come we can't get biodiesel fuel from algae, but we also can't keep it from growing in our pools?
Somebody needs to invent a pool filter that extracts fuel. Give it a little house so the lawn-mower can live there. They'll be the best of friends.
Yes, but over there you can call it rapeseed oil.
Over here we have to call it Canola lest some sensitive type is forced to retreat to a safespace because they are not taught etymology...
Gosh, has someone been niggardly with their educational funds?
Elsa is the ice princess and Anna is her sister.
Hope you have a good night and feel better in the morning. We just got home from the Knights of Columbus Memorial Day picnic, but somehow there are dishes to be washed at home.
Not in the least. Education, or what passes for it is a bazillion dollar boondoggle, er, industry. It's just that the copious funding is expended on raising conciousness in such subjects as will further the future college aspirations of the minds full of mush as they pursue their degrees in such important stuff as basket weaving and advanced gender studies. The three R's are so 19th century...
I think Canola oil makes all your baked goods taste like soap. I use corn oil.
Maybe if they were all taught entomology ...
The first thing to learn is that not only are we outnumbered by those critters, we're even outweighed by them!
"Six legs good; two legs, four legs bad!" -- George Orwell's "Insect Farm"
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