Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Sometimes I just like to make sure people are listening.
Inserting the Words “Cheese Sandwich” at random into sentences serves this purpose perfectly.
I like cheese...........
Oh, good idea!
Let’s analyze this..
It’s Friday.
It’s Friday the Thirteenth.
It’s raining.
It’s almost to the ‘raining cats and dogs’ stage.
I’m indoors in a house with five black cats.
The five black cats range from an obamatype (half white, half black, and not the smartest rock in the quarry) through three with varying amounts of white splotches (including one with white at the tip of his tail) to one totally black.
I’m not sure if there is a deeper meaning to all this..
Well. All this talk about food has made me hungry, so I made a meatloaf. And I mixed it in a large plastic food storage bag. So easy!!
And the bad news is that Rent-A-Center won’t refund my week’s worth of payment. They said I could use it as store credit and promptly tried to sell me the Lenovo I rented. I told them that that was a lousy policy, and that I would never do business with them again.
I was thinking that money would be good for getting groceries. Again. Like yogurt, since I seem to be eating more of it.
Have you tried a cheese sammich? That might improve your day.
Black cats like cheese..
:o]
There is....
Cats aren't silly enough to go away from a warm dry location when it is raining outside.
As 'Face says: Try a Cheese Sandwich. :)
Afternoon, y’all. I’m back from nap. Now it’s time to start making supper. Vlad and I need to leave at 5:30 for our racquetball class.
Remember the Girls playing that at School. The ball isn’t Rugby shaped so we never got to try it.
Looks like a good workout.
Don't be so hasty in your conclusions.
The obamalike cat (you know, half black, half white and not the smartest rock in the quarry) wanted to go out. So we opened the door and off he meandered.
Now I probably should mention that the majority of our outdoor/indoor felines, if inconvenienced by precipitation, will seek shelter underneath one of the various automobilethings in the drive. And then stare at the house hoping a human will notice them through the kitchen window and open the door. THIS critter tends to just sit there. In a location that is not visible through the kitchen window. He chooses a spot that requires a human to actually venture to the back door and peer out its glasspart. Out in the open. In the rain.
He just came back in. Very wet.
Just so you understand.. ;-)
I haven’t tried it, but I hope it will be fun. We do different things at the gym - some go swimming, some run, some go to a class or lift weights - and we meet when it’s time to leave in the hall beside the racquetball courts. That’s why Vlad saw the sign announcing the class.
I wanted to learn racquetball, but didn’t have the money for lessons, and I’m too old and crikity now. *sigh*
It would be nice to walk again, too, but it takes me several days to recover. :o|
Lol, Moosie! Too bad!
It’s $5 each for this class. At the end, we’ll know the rules and some basic skills.
That will be good. It’s a good stress reliever, too. :o]
Tomorrow, I think I’ll swap out the winter clothes for summer. I think it’s time to trash a couple of pairs of now-thin winter pants, and see if I can find some on sale at Walmart next time I go.
They served me well — probably four years. That’s pretty good for things I only paid $10 each for.
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