Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh, *dear*.
Hadn’t noticed the date!
I like the way Kittie uses its ears as stabilisers to stop its head rolling about.
So do I ,’Face.
And the Wizard,And the Doggie.
Humour has just taken too long a vacation lately.
*The Crowd Goes Wild ! *
That’s Two in a row,Nully !
You’re on a Roll !
Error Codes:
01FA01= a problem has occurred, just ignore it.
10FB10= It has occurred again, keep an eye on it.
A001EA= Another larger problem has occurred.
BD0340= A slightly larger problem and is getting slightly more concerning.
CF01A1= Time to get the Book out and look these things up.
DFF010= Things are getting serous. Put Kettle on.
EAFF5F= Hurry up with that Tea.
EDFFA4= Could be time to actually have a look.
FDFF5F= Whatever it is could have done with earlier intervention.
FFFF1E= This is going to be a lot of paperwork.
FFFFFF= Yes.
Most excellent SC!
Should we worry about Tom?
Had I heard those words uttered by my ex, my only surprise would have been the bit about sorcery, thought her mother had that covered.
W00t! I was busy reading doctrine.
Not immediately.
Today is my daughter’s birthday! She should be grateful I allowed her to live so long!
LOL!
Happy birthday to your daughter. (Friday the 13th ;-)
About the spelling I mean.
“About the spelling I mean.”
FReeper Alert! :)
Thanks! I will tell her. Once every six years, her birthday is on Saturday, Sunday is Mother’s Day, and my birthday is on Monday.
Every six months, when the kids were growing up, it was Igor’s birthday in April, Lablady’s birthday, Mother’s Day and my birthday in May, and my son’s birthday and Father’s Day in June. Then nothing again until Christmas! :o]
The only thing missing now is Igor’s birthday.
No, he just hadn’t had his coffee yet.
Yes, at one time, there were three of us in the family, now it’s just two - she and me. ;o]
I admit, I didn’t see the Il’l error, although I noticed the missing apostrophe in “whats.” One of the composition rules in my school is, “Never use contractions,” for just this reason!
“.asked what I planned to do, and I answered, “Oh, the usual things ... sorcery, armed mayhem, drinking the blood of my foes. How about you?””
That would certainly get my attention....
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