ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[moose07]

Mmmmm.
Can Smell that through the Screen!

The Sun rise has turned the entire sky pink!

[moose07]

[NoCmpromiz]

Smell what? The bituminous smoke or just the typical London fog?

Sunrises are pretty in pink..

[moose07]

Essence of steam engine.

[Tax-chick]

And all I did was go to Walmart and church.

The Cub Scouts have been to the Transportation Museum in Spencer, but it’s kind of a long way.

[Tax-chick]

[Gefn]

Babeh!
Good morning everyone.

So cold and icky here.,need coffee....

[Covenantor]

Good to finally see an image of Bullwinkle Moose's brave ancestor after he received his knighthood and was granted the motto, "Nothing up my sleeve".

[Covenantor]

Good morning all...

Careful not to burn your lips.

[RedWulf]

That’s a great gif.

[Tax-chick]

Tiny rescue kitten.

[Tax-chick]

Mmmm, that looks good.

[Tax-chick]

Rien dans ma manche ...

[Covenantor]

Tres bon.

[Monkey Face]

I see my sister has been there, but did she bring cheese?

[Gefn]

Arise Sir Moosey-

So Frostbite Falls was originally in Merrie Olde Englande?

[Gefn]

That coffee looks wonderful.

Bought a coffee pot a few weeks ago at Target. Messed it up this am, too little coffee, too much water.,ended up spilling the whole thing out and making a new pot.

Should have had my folks but the dang Keurig.,

[Gefn]

Edith Piaf?

[Monkey Face]

There is a railroad museum in Boulder City, just a few miles south of here, and they have excursion rides, but I’m just not sure if it’s seasonal or all year. It would be a fun place to visit, I think. The next time I have company, I’ll mention the museum and maybe we can go see it.

[Monkey Face]

Gorgeous sky colors!