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ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference
Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."


TOPICS: Humor; Religion; Science
KEYWORDS: afunny; ahoot; aparody; asatire; climatechange; epa; funny; globalwarming; globalwarminghoax; greennewdeal; hoot; hypochondriacsanon; isis; jvteam; lampoon; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; parisconference; parody; penguinhumor; popefrancis; romancatholicism; satire; terrorism; undeadthread; undeadthreadhere; woeisme
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To: Tax-chick

That sums it up quite nicely! ;o]


6,561 posted on 04/10/2016 4:56:14 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

The news is full of the areas that flooded. I’m sure “He Who Shall Not Be Named” was right in the middle of it, as it seems that area got the worst of it. Several swift water rescues took place, too, so the storms caught folks by surprise with the ferocity. But, though it makes the news every time, it’s what comes with living in Vegas.

We have a “Flood Control District” but even with all the man-made channels (always built after man-made obstacles, like buildings) it still took about an hour for the channels to handle all the water that fell. I’m waiting for rain figures.


6,562 posted on 04/10/2016 5:09:33 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

I think drainage problems are universal.


6,563 posted on 04/10/2016 5:11:10 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick

North Las Vegas got over 2” of rain, and we were second with 1.40”. And I was right: Busdaddy was right in the middle of the worst of it. Unless he has moved...


6,564 posted on 04/10/2016 5:15:26 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

If he doesn’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain, that’s his lookout ... as I often say about Jake.


6,565 posted on 04/10/2016 5:17:39 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick

I suspect you’re right about the “sense.”


6,566 posted on 04/10/2016 6:25:08 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

Weatherbug says its going to rain here every day this week.


6,567 posted on 04/10/2016 7:05:01 AM PDT by null and void ("when authority began inspiring contempt, it had stopped being authority" ~ H. Beam Piper)
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To: Tax-chick

‘Why are we standing in the rain?’

‘Mankind has always stood in the rain.’

‘That’s dumb, I’m going inside’

‘That’s a GREAT idea! Have a Burgie!’


6,568 posted on 04/10/2016 7:23:43 AM PDT by null and void ("when authority began inspiring contempt, it had stopped being authority" ~ H. Beam Piper)
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To: null and void

LOL!


6,569 posted on 04/10/2016 7:24:50 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: null and void

Do you have your water wings handy?
I noticed our flooding made the international/national news this morning. I’m SO glad I live uphill from that stuff!


6,570 posted on 04/10/2016 7:59:56 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

6,571 posted on 04/10/2016 9:48:51 AM PDT by null and void ("when authority began inspiring contempt, it had stopped being authority" ~ H. Beam Piper)
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To: null and void; Monkey Face

Zingin’ in the rain, eh?


6,572 posted on 04/10/2016 10:45:19 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (If you can't do something well, you won't do anything good.)
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To: null and void; NicknamedBob

Yep. That’ll do it! LOL!

I just went out and sat with the peeps for a bit, and right after we got to the ramada, the rain began. And lasted about 30 minutes, then quit again.

More for today and tomorrow. *sigh*


6,573 posted on 04/10/2016 10:59:23 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

So far today, we have gotten another inch of rain. This is SUCH good news! It’s painful for me, but I know that we need it desperately.

:o])


6,574 posted on 04/10/2016 11:41:05 AM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

Good for you. Sunny and a bit chilly here. Jake is mad at me and didn’t get in the sunbeam today.


6,575 posted on 04/10/2016 1:12:40 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: Tax-chick; All

Chills and a low-grade fever have been plaguing me most of the day so far, so I think I’m going to go lie down, soon. I turned on the mattress pad a while ago, so the bed should be warm enough to get into within a few more minutes.

It’s probably the after-effects of having to go without colloidial silver for a week. I suspect I will have to increase the dose, and that’s not what I wanted. However, if it means feeling better over all, then I will do it.
So ta for now! :o]


6,576 posted on 04/10/2016 1:27:58 PM PDT by Monkey Face (The human body is about 90% water, so basically, we're cucumbers with anxiety.)
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To: Monkey Face

Hope you have a good night. Frank and Kathleen have had their baths.


6,577 posted on 04/10/2016 2:43:38 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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Okay, We've got Cars pretty much taped...
Now on to Buses and Ten Ton Trucks...Behold : The Armoured Battle Moose !


6,578 posted on 04/10/2016 6:24:58 PM PDT by moose07 (DMCS (Dit Me Cong San ) - Nah. ...Ermentrude chewed on some more grass and watched....)
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To: moose07; Tax-chick; Monkey Face; All
Here's what was romping through Tax Chick's back yard today..

N&W 611 Spencer, NC to Asheville, NC

And if you had been in Asheville you could have watched them turn the train around for the return to Spencer.

The train will pull forward until the last car is clear of the crossover track (visible in this view by the second green and white Southern RR painted diesel) and when the switch is thrown the entire train will back onto the other track and around the bend visible in the distance. Around the bend is a 'Y' track that will take them back to the track they are presently on but facing the opposite direction. If you're that interested, look Asheville, NC up in a BingGoogle birdseye. This photo was taken from the US 25 bridge over the east end of Asheville yard and the Swannanoa River. The "Y" track is east of this view and starts where Fairview Rd. crosses the tracks.

Even if anyone was interested in taking this trip, it was sold out..

611’s 2016 EXCURSION SCHEDULE

Schedules are posted on both NC Transportation Museum page (the link above) and Virginia Museum of Transportation site. The next two trips toward the end of April are from Greensboro, NC to Roanoke, VA and the remainder of this year's trips stay in VA.

Still too far to drive (for me - your mileage may vary ;-) even for a steam train..

Even though steam purists don't like it, the railroad has at least two good reasons for wanting the diesels as part of the consist.

6,579 posted on 04/10/2016 8:26:21 PM PDT by NoCmpromiz (John 14:6 is a non-pluralistic comment.)
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To: moose07
Would this be one of these?


6,580 posted on 04/10/2016 8:42:43 PM PDT by NoCmpromiz (John 14:6 is a non-pluralistic comment.)
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