Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Maybe it will come today.
It was at the post office Saturday, but didn’t make it out to the mail truck. And the carrier can only deliver what they load up for her. If she takes more than a day off, it takes her three days to clean up the mess the subs have made. I feel bad for her, but she is one of those people who just are undaunted by anything. She is always smiling.
Tom the Son has decided to sign up for the Heavy Equipment Mechanic course at Central Piedmont. He’s going to make an appointment with the trade programs counselor ASAP. I’m sure they’ll be happy to have him, what with his SAT score and his current grades. He says the program is 12 months, and salaries once he is qualified are in the $40,000 range.
Our friend who’s a civil engineer for the state of South Carolina says it’s hard to hire mechanics because they can’t pass the drug test. It would interesting if Tom could get a job with the SC Sanitation Department a year from now!
Well, good for Tom the Son!!! That’s pretty exciting, when I think of how far he can go in that kind of career. The sky is the limit for him, I’m sure.
You will have to keep us posted on this. *happy dance*
The laundry is washed, and I still have to hang the clothes, but they will be dry in no time, when I open the front door, which will probably be around 1000.
I forgot last time I washed to put detergent on my list, but it is there, now. And I need quarters. I will have to talk to Charlie about that, as he usually has some to spare. I’m just about down to the bottom of my laundry money. *sigh*
And maybe I had better go have a breathing treatment soon.
Good luck! We’re going to the gym.
“Our friend who’s a civil engineer for the state of South Carolina says it’s hard to hire mechanics because they can’t pass the drug test. It would interesting if Tom could get a job with the SC Sanitation Department a year from now”
Heck, from what I see, he could be MAYOR in 4-5 years!
The clothes are drying and I thought of going to B&N, but I’m just not up to it right now. It’s not that far away, but still, after my lack of sleep last night, it may as well be on the moon.
Maybe Wednesday. I will go to the pain clinic and stop at B&N on the way home. That sounds like a better idea. ;o]
LOL! He certainly qualifies for a job like that!
At least we could be sure of one honest mayor.....only 5 or 6 in America left: )
I’m not sure Tom the Son would be an honest mayor. His Slytherin fashions reveal his true character.
It would be interesting, especially if I’m still with Sanitation in New Yawk. We’d have two family members in the same business.
(I mean family, metaphorically, of course. Not like I’m going to be there at dinner time looking hungry.)
Are you suggesting John is corrupt?
I thought it was an insult to suggest anyone could go into politics.
Meant to ask if you were suggesting TOM is corrupt.
I think I’m minding my lose.
That right there is a resume enhancement in NYC. Witness Warren Wilhelm Jr..
If mayoral politicking is in Tom's future he needs to relocate north. ;-)
Not at all : )
“If mayoral politicking is in Tom’s future he needs to relocate north. ;-) “
Much more gullible than the South.
Tom can develop a “Boston drawl”
Tom: “ Free oystahs on the haaf shell! “
“Wicked Tuna” is what Americer is all about! “
The town was out saltsanding the T intersection at the end of the drive, which is a good thing because should a northbound vehicle too hastily approach the intersection and find themselves on an ice-rink they would blow across the intersection, fly across the drainage ditch, and smash into the DSLAM. Which would leave us without interwebs.
And I would have irrational irate females to contend with. Because it would be my fault they couldn't get their streaming videos and muzak. After all, I'm supposed to fix that kind of stuff. Much like the tablet-thing I mentioned the other day..
*Frizzle: Something that is akin to a frozen drizzle but not quite..
If he does that, he'd be a hit in Boston then. But I think he would need to add 'mumble' to that drawl.. ;-)
Speaking of Boston, the Cleveland Indians opening day game at Cleveland is rained out..
(You are left to figure out the connection.)
Dood, it’s the 20th century. We don’t fix things, we just replace ‘em.
Yeah, but I’m fresh out of replacement DSLAM’s.. ;-)
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