Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh, darn. You missed it.
*guffaw*
I was vacuuming. Next I’m going to check James’s math. We can’t officially say he’s finished 6th grade math until it’s checked.
There’s an event at church today for the people who are joining this year, but I’m not involved with that. We don’t have to be there until 6:30 p.m. The boys will be serving the Mass, and I’m reading from “Exodus” in Spanish.
DP and Tom have gone to Sam’s to buy steak for tomorrow.
Wow. James with 6th grade math? Wow. Time flies!
It’s his correct grade by age. Vlad and Pat are each a year ahead for school (in general). Vlad is in 4th grade (correct for his age) in Cub Scouts, and two years ahead in Sunday School.
The books I’ve ordered for James and Vlad are graded 6th-8th, and they can work on them together.
I’d like to come to your house for an Easter steak! LOL!
I had forgotten how much time has passed since I was there, last, and I’m sure all the short people have become tall people, except for the ones who have already reached maximum height allowed. I think this is the third year. I think.
The wind has really come up since I got up at 0440, and the thermometer on the patio informed me that it was 56 out there. The high will only be 63 today, but the wind is strong enough to drop that several degrees.
I’m going to TRY and get to church tomorrow, and I’m hoping I feel good enough to do so. I will lay out my clothes tonight, “just in case.” I never know how I will feel when I wake up. Or even hour to hour during the day.
And now, I need to go feed my lungs!
It’s the Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh.
Morning Face!
Life is good when you have Itteh bitteh kitties.
Good luck with the lungs. They got a lot of steak!
Morning Cat Lady! How are you feeling today? *hug*
The breathing treatment left me shaky, but not as bad as yesterday. I will have to use the second one (for when I’m “breathless”) the next time. This one is albuterol and it breaks up any congestion. So it does what it’s supposed to do.
I probably won’t have much for Easter dinner...just the usual. I mean, it’s not much fun when you cook for one. BUT! I got the Riesling and the bread crumbs this morning, so I will see how much better my food is.
It’s hard to believe March is over with, almost!
Oh. I checked the website, and I’m scheduled for the surgical center on April 19, then have appointments at the pain clinic on the 26 and 27. The one for Wednesday, the 30th, has disappeared from the calendar, so I will have to request a new prescription, anyway, and go get it this coming week.
I don’t have enough morphine to last the next month.
I’m in a great deal of pain and lost the ability to walk.
My sister brought over a rollator for me to use.
I’m kind of miffed, today is my dad’s b-day and I want to see him but I’m in such pain I can’t.
Maybe tomorrow.
*hugs*
You will heal, Gefn. It may be slow, but don’t ever give up! I’m in your peanut gallery, cheering you on, so hang tough and hold my hand! <3
I’m sure your Rabbi will get a chuckle out of that.. ;-)
Cheque ewer FReepmail re: your facepagething comment.
Afternoon, all y’all. DP and I went to 201 Central and bought some wine, and then sat around drinking and watching women’s basketball (University of Texas vs. someone). Basketball players sure are tall. We’ll have supper (crockpot Cuban pork dish) about 5:00 and have to be at church at 6:30. Tom is staying with Kathleen. He and Bill (who’s at work) will go to church tomorrow.
Thank you so very much! :o])
On another note my brain just realized that it is Beautiful Daughter’s birthday tomorrow..
(For some reason I was thinking it was Monday.)
That sounds like a fun afternoon!
A crockpot dinner sounds very good, actually! I’m having some Riesling and thinking about what I want to eat.
Maybe just some cheese and crackers, as I put on a couple of pounds when my FRiends were here last weekend...
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