Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Roll them in crushed cereal. It's obvious you'd never make it as a bachelor.
Ramen.
Well drats. Checked my facepagething to see if there were any responses from any of my internet atheist friends.
The bait was not taken.
So I added another ‘thought’.. ;-)
(something about anthropomorphic rabbits ;-)
Well, let's ponder this.
If Mecca is buried in a chalk pile that would also cover their cubething. And if we extend that chalkpile to Medina we can cover the non-empty tomb of their profit, er, prophet. Doing so would remove any reason for the mooslimes to travel there thus no resistance to building a cathedral. Or anything else for that matter. ;-)
The fact that their profit, er, prophet is still in his tomb says enough..
Excellent
The Pillars of the Earth ,here we come!
This tiny kitten lives in Nova Scotia.
Omg, your Fozzie Bear quote is wonderful.
I’m stealing, and sending it to my family- and my Rabbi.
Kittens with bow ties?
Today’s daily kitten just caused my head to explode from squee.
Thank you.
Wacka wacka!
Want!
Other than your own babies, is anything cuter than a baby kitteh?
You’re welcome. I thought it was a good day for lots of kittens.
Yes. Yes it is.
happy Caturday, Jake and Shannon.
Jake is in his bed waiting for the sunbeam.
Hahaha! *snicker* Good one!
I’m up, coughing a little so I will have to go back in and have a breathing treatment, but not right at the moment.
Wind is forecast for the next three days, and I hate that. It means we won’t be sitting at the ramada for long because it will be just too darn cold. The temp is only going to be around 60 for those days, and the ramada is now totally engulfed in the shade from the mulberry tree by it to the east.
The chicken thighs turned out OK, but I ended up baking them. I don’t have patience to “watch” food cook, and my back usually hurts too much to spend a lot of time in preparation. So cereal and ramen were both out of the running. I need the coating already made, but thanks for the suggestions!!!
That is such a cute pic of Brovahs and Sistahs! Lots of heart-shaped squee, there!
Good morning. Wishing better weather for you soon!
It’s March. What can I say? The winds are by-products of the storms to the north of us, and because of the natural bowl-shaped configurations of the valley, the winds can sometimes circle for days, long after the northern storms have gone on to the east to create havoc.
Maybe, if I get the bug, I will do some cleaning and dusting this morning. Maybe. It needs to be done, for sure. And no one but me to do it. *ho-hum*
Do you have lots of church doings, today?
LOOK! There’s a 00, just waiting for you, T-c!
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