Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I remember a couple of good running gags.
That’s a myth. A Myth!!
(woman peeking around the corner) Yeth?
We have to admit it. We’re lost.
Have you tried Hari Krishna?
And of course ... Please, don’t call me Shirley.
I love my Korats but they are not great barn kitties being rather small.
A bengal would be large enough to take down a barn rat.
All of it goes down the same Memory Bunghole.
Scientists have launched Probes to seek out this elusive entity.
So far, none of the Probes have returned and the Scientists have vanished in a puff of Lucas smoke.

Would you like to join us for tea and crumpets?
They all went across the Pond to Moose, of course! LOL!
Crumpets are SO good, especially with lemon curd!!
Is that where this pile of HTML under the desk keeps coming from? :D
It’s claimed that our Jake is part Bengal. He probably uses the line to pick up girls.
‘Face, Step away from the Lemon Curd. You know that it’s like Catnip. :)
No! You’ll NEVER take my lemon curd! NEVER!!!
Yes, they do look like violets. Even Mrs. NoC says so. It’s just that my historical memory of (outdoor as versus African) violets comes courtesy of my Grandmother who had violets in her flower bed(s) as a border plant. I don’t remember hers blooming this early.
Of course Grandma would NEVER have flowers popping up through her grass. Even her crocus were not allowed. They were confined to their proper bed also.
And it goes without saying that she would never have truck with grass growing in her flower beds either.
She’d have a fit if she were to see the state of the flower beds here. We have been trying to reclaim the one(s) on either side of the ‘east’ kitchen door since we moved in but it seems that no matter how many times or how much grass-and-other-not-flower-things we pull out of them they still go to weed..
And the remnants of whatever was once on the front side of the house have long ago lost the battle with grass. Now the sole-surviving daffodils are the only things that pop up through the sod.
Bernie Sanders?
Yes, I think those are definitely wild violets as they have shiny broad leaves and small flowers. As far as the African variety, I have never been able to successfully grow them indoors. And I don’t know why that is....
I’m happy that your daffodils are still struggling whilst being upright, and that others of your blooming items are still hanging in there.
I would!!!
I was watching a yoga training video yesterday afternoon, while Jake was lounging on the sofa in the sunbeam, with an occasion trill of absolute bliss and a display of his Claw. My takeaway from the video was, “We should all be more like cats.”
Hyacinths are my favorite. We’ll have some in the gardens in a month or so. Hopefully we can keep Kathleen from picking them as soon as they show a bud. She’s wreaking havoc on the tulips and daffodils, the little monster.
Closest C. B. & T. L. is in Manhattan.
Driving 80 miles and paying an exorbitant toll to cross a river is not high on my list of things to do for a cuppa..
Now if I should for some reason find myself in Gotham, I would track one of their spots down (their website says there are something like 12 locations..)
One thing for sure, I will NOT visit their store in Detroit.
“Driving 80 miles and paying an exorbitant toll to cross a river is not high on my list of things to do for a cuppa..”
No problem....Darks will give you a free cup of his, and you can JOG to NYC !
5,500.
Because I can.
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