Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Heh heh..
I’m just surprised that I remember drinking it...
Thank you for explaining that.
You could probably try some kind of seltzer-water instead of diet 7-up. I have a high tolerance for artificial sweeteners ... I was one of the last holdouts drinking Tab.
No kidding. :)
Boone’s Farm probably tastes as good as a lot of the beer- or vodka-based beverages that are being sold now.
Fred Sandford’s top shelf stuff was Champipple, concocted from Ripple and Champale, a malt liquor brewed with wine yeast. ...ugh.
I remember Tab cola.
Pink can!
I remember this.
Never ever drink the purple punch at a Rutgers fraternity toga party.
There was one vending machine at my university that stocked Tab. A few of us knew about it and kept it in service.
I bought some at Harris Teeter a couple of years ago. Tom and Elen asked for it, as a curiosity, but they thought it was nasty. Of course, these are kids who drink Faygo, so what do they know.
My first experience with Ripple was as a new bride, when my husband and I spent the weekend with a couple in Long Beach, where his friend was stationed. To this day, I can say that it tasted more like carbonated vinegar than anything else.
I was never again tempted to drink that stuff!
I do like T-c’s concoction of Restorative Pink Drink with diet lemonlime soda. Not bad. Of course, I have champagne tastes and a box wine budget, but that’s beside the point! :o]
I am very tired, and although I want to go to bed, I’m afraid to, as I may fall asleep sooner than I want to, and that’s going to mess up my schedule. Tomorrow is wash day, and while I don’t want to do it (today, that’s the feeling) it has to be done. And I heard another machine has gone by the wayside, and that means I will have to find a laundromat that isn’t outrageous in costs. My new laundry cart is bigger than the old one, and it will be a challenge to get it into the cargo bay of Mr Bill.
Ungh.
My eyelids want to slam shut, but I’m not ready for that, yet.
Bruthie the bruther and I went to one of the local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf stores so he could purchase coffee not available where he lives. We had a dark chocolate muffin (oh YUMMERS!) with our coffee, and I just realized I left half of mine in his car. *sigh*
So I’m not the only one who has ‘vinegar’ as an adjective for Ripple.. ;-)
It was so awful. :)
I’m pretty sure I haven’t had Ripple.
No, trust me. I told my husband not to ever buy that stuff again...it was AWFUL!!
You would remember Ripple had you ever had the experience.
I realized early on that it was a “sick-maker,” and nothing I could ever do would negate that. So I avoided it like the plague. I don’t even know if they make it any more.
Along about the time in question, I was drinking port wine.
I think it’s gone.
I don’t think I even tasted wine until I went to Germany, and then I fell in love with Moselle wine and pilsner beer. Two things I always buy, 1) if I can find them, and b) if I can afford them. Too bad I wasn’t born rich instead of so darn good-looking! ;oP
We never had punch. :)
I like good beer, but I rarely drink it. Too much volume.
I can’t stand beer. I knew instantly when the former wine coolers went to malt, even though the restaurant employee didn’t know. “Smell this: it’s BEER!”
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