ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[NoCmpromiz]

Umm..

Well, I sorta stole if from Facepagething...

But I didn’t originally post it.

There aren’t many of me on facepagething, especially located in SonofFormerEmperorCuomo’s fiefdom..

I’m NOT the one in Queensland. ;-)

[Monkey Face]

Hmmmmm...
I see I need to do some sleuthing.

[Tax-chick]

Remind me on Thursday of how much it is.

[Tax-chick]

[Monkey Face]

My sinuses tingled, just looking at that pic! LOL!

Good morning! I woke up at 0430, just like I always do, but my clock said 0530. And my phone is not keeping up with the times!

It’s going to be hazy and windy today, but milder than yesterday, so I may spend a while outside. The rain of two nights ago kept the pollens down yesterday, but the numbers will be up today. And it was cold and windy yesterday so my time outside was about 30 minutes,

My finger now just has a bandaid on it but it doesn’t hurt much, so that’s good.

[null and void]

I was busy watching my 3-D printer finish off a job I started at 9 AM yesterday.

[Tax-chick]

Good morning, Pacific Time persons. We’re already halfway through the day.

[Tax-chick]

Message to everyone: Stop using a nominative case pronoun as the object of a preposition. STOP IT!!!

That is all ...

[Monkey Face]

Wow. I would probably be memorized by something like a 3-D printer, too. Fascinating!

[Monkey Face]

I changed batteries in three clocks and my phone is still behind the times.

I found four Band-Aids, so I was able to just use one of then for my finger. I need to go buy more. I think I loaned the box I had to a neighbor and it was never returned after the casualty was taken care of and healed. Oh well. I guess he needed them worse than I did.

The phone finally changed time, so that’s good.

[NicknamedBob]

"I would probably be memorized by something like a 3-D printer, too."

Mesmer Eyes

(Thanks for quoting me, T-c! Tagline fame will be my eternal reward.)

[Monkey Face]

I’d quote you, too, Bob, but you say so many pithy, punny things that I would be changing my tagline every time you posted something!!

[NicknamedBob]

I quote me too, sometimes.

It keeps me from being accused of plagiarism.

[Monkey Face]

You are a real treasure, Bob, and I’m honored to know you!

[CodeToad]

[NicknamedBob]

You can’t make a cat look like Hitler by drawing a little mustache on it. But then, you don’t have to.

[Darksheare]

http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3408473/posts

Runaway Bride of the Undead?

[Darksheare]

Yikes!

[NicknamedBob]

Possibly. We buried it, but it keeps popping up anyway.

[Monkey Face]

I know THAT’s true! LOL!