Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
W00t!
Ovomit always has his hand in front of the camera, thinking we’re too stupid to know he’s giving us the finger. He needs to be bitch-slapped.
Ringworld...
Isn’t there a pill for that?
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Freedom ≠ Free Stuff☭ | |
| I, for one, welcome our new Cybernetic Overlords /. | ||
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The wind is killing me, at about 20 mph, gusting to 35.
As if my allergies weren’t bad enough! It’s been sprinkling and gusting all day, and I am so tired of the noise. I have understood for a long time why the Okies went berserk and headed for CA, what with that incessant wind that produced the Dust Bowl.
I want something to eat, but I have nothing to cook in a hurry. I haven’t checked the freezer, lately, so there may be something in there...I ate some leftover lasagna earlier, but nothing is left...
The boys are having frozen pizza. Weather here is 60s and rather pleasant. I fell asleep after Mass, with help from Jake.
Tolnaftate
I am off to bed. I just need to get some ice water and then I’m good to go! My eyelids have been threatening to slam shut since about 0930 this morning, so I need to let them work on that detail.
See all y’all tomorrow!
<3
I hope you have a good night!
‘morning...
You’re up early!
*groan* I hate everything but Win 7, and if I could find the installation CD-ROM, I would get rid of Win 10 for good.
I now have to take out the battery every morning in order for the stupid thing to get out of the “Shutting Down” mode. And I can’t access any of my genealogy with Win 10.
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Bill Gates should have taken heed...
Awww...floofy squee!
Morning. We’re off to the gym in a minute.
And I’ll be off to the laundry room soon.
With my allergies as bad as they were yesterday, I forgot to write to my grandson. I need to do that today, when I get back.
Have fun at the gym!
Oh, yes...I forgot to tell you: The wind blew so hard yesterday, it blew the thermometer off the eave support post. I think I need a bigger nail!!
Leg cramps. I was able to go back to bed.
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