Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
He looks like the Soot Bomb bonked his little nu-nu!
We broke a record yesterday: It was 82 degrees, and more for today and tomorrow.
My check was deposited at 2048 last night, and I ran off to Walmart to get ink first thing this morning, so I could make my list. I was totally shocked: The first seven handicap parking spots were filled, and the regular parking for two rows in either direction were six-eight cars deep.
Anyway, the ink cartridge has been installed and I will print out the budget as soon as I get my iherb.com order filled and sent.
I went to check that two days ago, and somehow, it was in Armenian. The first item was 37,000+ Armenian dollars, or whatever they use, and the total was 350,0000+!!! LOL!
My doctor’s appointment for today has been postponed until April 25. *sigh* The gal is going to reschedule my lower spine procedure, but she said she would call me today and let me know when it is.
Woo-hoo. 4,500 is half of 9,000.
I’m doing Tom’s and Elen’s tax returns. Elen filled out her W4 wrong and didn’t have any withholding. She doesn’t owe the Feds, but we’ll probably have to pay NC a few bucks.
Congrats on the ink!
The kitten lives in Saudi Arabia.
Time to pay the bills.
I picked up some allergy eye drops, but I think I will have to go back to Visine. My eyeballs feel numb.
I’ll pay the bills today and shop for groceries tomorrow. I just don’t want to go back to Walmart today, the way things were shaping up at 0510!
I have to go to Walmart again. We’re out of several dairy products. Also, we should have some vegetables.
For some reason, I thought today was March 2, and that’s probably why I was so confused about the amount of cars...some people get paid on the 1st and others on the 3rd. So tomorrow should be a good day to go.
A couple of months ago, I applied for a SafeLink phone, as an emergency phone, planning on keeping it in the truck. It will charge whenever I’m driving so I don’t have to worry if I forget to bring my phone, which HAS happened. I don’t like going anywhere without it; kinda like my AAA card. Us ol’ ladies can’t afford to be stranded.
Today is March 1. I leave my phone at home all the time!
I managed to leave my cell phone at work a couple of Fridays ago, and it sure was nice to have a peaceful weekend. I did check work email on the computer, and my kids could contact me if there was an emergency, but the peace sure was nice! I can’t do that every weekend, though. :(
Most of the calls I get are from the medical entities, as my kids usually text me. I make more out-going calls than I get incoming, again, for medical reasons. So on weekends, my phone is seldom busy.
With my age, and associated health problems, I prefer to carry a phone with me wherever I go. Just to be on the safe side.
It’s a good idea for a number of reasons to have communications readily accessible. Sure, we all grew up without it, but it sure is nice to have handy.
If I don’t want to be bothered, I don’t answer my door or my phone. The phone is a tool for me, but I’m not attached to it with an umbilical cord.
I like to be aware of what’s going on around me.
But yes, my childhood was “quiet,” because I spent all good days outside. I was seven before we got our first TV, and that, too, was a tool. The roof on our house was very steep, so putting the antenna up was just short of amazing.
Mostly, I remember the Mickey Mouse Club on weekdays and the Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday evenings. There were too many other things to do to be bothered with TV... ;o]
I have to go to Walmart.
Elen is driving us nuts complaining about Gilgamesh. I told her to write a paper contending that the characters’ lack of deep concern for the cedar trees is a sign of the culture’s being infested with patriarchal male-chauvinist claptrap.
“Oh, is it really?” she said.
“It is if you can support it with evidence from the text.”
I went to pay my car insurance and it dropped $20 from last month. This is a new period, so the overall rate has dropped. It doesn’t hurt MY feelings! LOL!
Poor Elen. Maybe she is beginning to see the wisdom of paying attention in class...
Good news about the insurance. Ours should drop when we take Bill off and put Elen on.
Look at him, a prisoner of the gutter
Condemned by every syllable he utters
By rights he should be taken out and hung
For the cold blooded murder of the English tongueRepublican platform.
With apologies to Alan Jay Lerner
Yeah, I'm not very "up" today.
Look at him, a prisoner of the gutter
Condemned by every syllable he utters
By rights he should be taken out and hung
For the cold blooded murder of the English tongueRepublican platform.
With apologies to Alan Jay Lerner
Yeah, I'm not very "up" today.
Why can Republicans teach their candidates how to speak?
This lack of conservative principles, by now shoudl be antique.
If you spoke, as he does, sir, instead of the way you do.
Then you might be spouting inanities, too.
My parents had that when I was growing up..
They had the STPNN*. No contract, no monthly fees, and (apparently) always activated.
If I 'misbehaved' on the other side of town, my parents knew about it before I got home..
*Small Town Parental Notification Network ;-)
What’s your melody?
I don’t know how my parents knew everything, but I certainly believed they did. Thoroughly cowed, I was ...
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