Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
DP thinks they might have been Swiss chard to start with. It was a soup with coconut milk, butternut squash, and chickpeas.
Tomorrow morning I can get some baby arugula from the garden for the dragons.
Was a little worried they could be the Red Leaves of Doom or something.
Being from a Strange Land, i can concur with that R.A.H comment.
Oh yes, All the Fours!
.....Four,Four,Four....LoL.
A Citizen who’s country went weird around him.
So I suppose I’m now a Stranger in a Strange land.
Never mind.....the confirmation for the seats we booked on a passing Starship have come through.
Hope it’s not a Vogon cruiser.. ;-)
A lifetime of all you can eat Vogon Poetry......
What a hideous thought.
Needs must......
I don’t think the worst tyranny is anything involving “pay for.” I’m forced to pay for public schools, and that’s a bit of a nuisance, but it would be a much worse tyranny to force me to use them.
Last UK Deep Coal mine closes today.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-35124077
I presume you no longer need them because you have moved on to a much more efficient system of energy production.
Wind, you mean?
And good morning, gents. We’ll be off to culturally appropriate yoga in about half an hour.
I’m sorry you were gloomed by the rain, yesterday, and I hope you feel better today. Is it still raining?
I don’t know what “Parade Gloss” is but it sounds almost lethal. :o])
The door in question is an iron mesh security door with bars. If I rigged up the door handle to give someone a shock, I would also shock my cute little self if I forgot to turn off the shocker!
I’m hoping management will take care of the annoying jerk. He’s caused a lot of concern among some of the residents, but most of them complain to each other, rather than to management. Go figger.
LOOK! A startled kitteh!!!
Inviting, though; makes me want to pick it up and tell it everything is going to be OK.
That’s sad about the coal mine closing. We’re fighting to keep ours open, too.
Dang nasty globull warming freaks.
That’s disturbing...
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