Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
” And then enjoy a nice cup of tea”
Or....AHEM....coffee ?
We’re HERE!!!!
Hot cocoa (laced with rum or not) and chocolate chip cookies (not laced with anything) are in the usual spot in the Library.
C’mon in, unpack and enjoy some refreshments before you start the day in the Habitats.
Wow. Such low numbers... :o])
LOL!
I will have some fun using your post, whenever we are told about some inane action by the outhouse ignoring the deadly dangers Islamic terrorism.
So. Did you get your mattress pad?
*snort*
LOL!
Nully, old friend, I understand the first part—I should have pinged holdonnow—but I know he has not actively posted in a very long time.
The second part I will need you to translate for me. I’m a he.
I’m going to imagine that Nully and I have brains that work similarly (I’m so sorry about that, Nully) in that the phrase “February of last year” triggered the memory of the song and out it popped.
It drives Mrs. ArGee crazy when I do that random association thing.
Argee, random association is the sign of a great mind.
Maybe I just don’t know the song.
Ah. I see.
Afternoon, y’all. On the cultural appropriation front, they played Christmas music during yoga class this morning.
It was irritating. Instead of thinking about which direction my knees were going, I was thinking, “Stop messing with the tempo! Quit overemoting and just do the song!”
Well, I wouldn’t say you were missing much but in case you’re curious...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU
“Well Now, What have we here?”
“Did You ever see such a thing in your Whole life?”
LoL!
Has anyone seen my pigmy T-Rex? I’m afraid I might have left him in the old place. If I did and he gets hungry he’s going to surprise the next lurker there.
If you packed any meat sticks dump out the container before you stick your hand in.
The Obama family portrait?
I have been informed by a reliable souse, er, source that they congregate in Camden and Trenton.
With Auxiliary Enclaves in Newark and Paterson...
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