Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
It’s good that you Deere is alive. We have another child throwing up. This probably means a further additional child will be sick tomorrow, since they share a room.
Oh, well that sux. NY pays if you show up and get interviewed whether selected or rejected. Then if selected, it’s another $40 a day for the duration..
Here when they send you the summons they give you a number and a phone number and web address to check on your number , You check the phone/web each night before and if your number is there you show up (so you don’t sit around for days at a time..) and they take that as being called thus the ‘pay’.
And that fluffystuff is accumulating. (The Whether Nogprostigator is saying ‘Snow, heavy at times for at least 120 minutes. Accumulation of up to 1 inch and a trace of ice.’) I might need my Nanook of the North coat to venture to the end of the drive for the mail. ;-)
Wow. I feel almost like I was watching “The Goonies” again! Fake puke makes anyone throw up! LOL!
Whatever it is that’s wiping out your family in turns, I hope it has run its course by the weekend.
I can send a teenager to the mailbox.
Oh fun and erples.. So that’s what, three down now?
Almost everyone here (excepting Beautiful Daughter - so far) has something having to do with chestcrud and coughing.. But no erples..
We’ve been out of teenagers for — a while.
First we had the three with the spews (James, Frank, Kathleen). Then we had three with other symptoms (Vlad, Pat, me). Then Sally came down with the fever and headache (yesterday), and throwing up (today). It’s possible she threw up because she ate too much all of a sudden. IT wouldn’t not be the first time.
Oh, and Tom has chestcrud. He sounds like a VERY large ruminant about to expire from consumption.
Yes, there was a number, website and detailed instructions about what to do, but the last time, I filled everything out online. This time, it was online and on the phone. The phone asked for the birthdate, and then abruptly said, “Your excusal has been accepted.” And they hung up on me. Hahaha!
Still, as I said earlier, it would have been fun, I think.
That’s scary about Tom’s chestcrud. Tape it, play it in slow motion and make a tape of that for a Haunted House come All Hallows Eve!
It’s only a few times a day, when he clears his throat, but it rattles the rafters.
Now that there is funny.. (plus I can picture it. ;-)
Tape it, play it in slow motion
There would possibly be many uses for that trac..
Well..
You could always claim age discrimination..
Sort of Kuuuh-BLUUUUUUUUNNNNGGGGGG grack GRACK UUUUUUNNNNNNNHHHHHHHH GLAAAHHH!
My spell-check just threw up.
LOL!
Spray your keyboard with Lysol.
Wonder if a recording of that either straight or with digital manipulation will strike the fear of whatever it sounds like into the quasi-lupine-canine hearts of our itinerant Coy O’Tays..
Similar to the on-a-summer’s-night sounds emanating from the vicinity of the neighbor-to-the-west’s farm when he has the bovines in his southern pasture. The pond (one of them) is right at the NE corner which places it just across the road and about 200’ from our driveway, behind the power pole supporting the transformer that got zotted by lightening some years back. The bovines tend to congregate around the pond at night filling the air with multiple bovine grunts, burps, and unexplained noises.
He doesn’t put them in that pasture this time of year. Don’t understand that...
tlhIngan Hol?
Qapla’!
Welp, I’m off to La La Land. I’m tired, for some reason, and wish I had been able to get some Riesling this last trip to the store, but there was too much in the food department that had to be taken care of. I still have a week before payday, and don’t know if I have enough yogurt and rice pudding to last.
So I’m going to take my cute little self to bed. I’ll see all y’all in the morning.
Prayers for all your sickies, T-c...
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