Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Oh..
In that case..
Nothing to see here, move along.
(But I do have cat pictures. They show up on here every once in a while. Stay tuned to this channel for further announcements.)
And Alaska Wolf is still dead.
Frank claims he was pushed into the puddle, not that it matters. He also claims he drank a Molotov cocktail ...
Tell him that the old style leaded gas tasted better than this alcohol infused unleaded..
Right after you suggest that drinking a cocktail offered by a dead Soviet is not a stellar idea. ;-)
Frank has a tenuous relationship with reality.
I would be inclined to speculate that Frank has an unusual number of honorary godfathers here on The Undead Thread.
Want me summa dat kitteh!
I had several panic attacks yesterday, but maybe the worst is over with for now. What I need to do is start packing or sorting, even if it’s just the books or the craft supplies. I was going to use tubs for everything, but I believe I need to pack the books in boxes, and maybe the dishes, as well.
I didn’t want to move again, really, but now I wish it was all over with and I was settled in my new surroundings, with some kind of family around me for support.
I actually felt the cold tile on the soles of my feet this morning, and that was nice! I’m sure it’s the epidurals and the gabapentin that have done that — shrunk the inflammation enough that the nerves are beginning to respond again. Happy day!
I think I won’t be having cervical spine surgery while I’m here. There is too much to do, and I don’t know how much time I will have to recuperate before I have to move out.
Good morning! Good news about your feet!
I find that making a start at a task relieves anxiety, even if the big picture remains unsettled.
Tom the Mocker says it’s spring.
Tweet-tweet-tweet warble-weeble whoo-whoo gyack!
He’s already got Mrs. Tom living with him in the jasmine, but maybe he’s advertising for another girlfriend. He’s got a fine nest, well-concealed, convenient to two feeders ... and catz.
Yah. I’ll work on it tomorrow, after the laundry is done.
I’ll spend today doing quiet things, then give it hell tomorrow, until my back beats me up!
Since I moved in here three years ago, I began weeding out clothes, then books, and miscellaneous items, and just this last week, I’ve taken four plastic grocery bags full of stuff to the community room to give away. I will continue to do that. Someone else can pack my stuff if they want to keep it!
We have some night birds here, and for the last two nights, they have been having a sing-a-thon, seeing which one can sing the loudest with the most variations.
It’s pretty, but I need my sleep!!!
The exterminators have been busy in the A/C-furnace cubicle, poisoning the pigeons. Nasty, filthy flying rats. And we have people here who feed them. GAH!!!
Tom isn’t singing all night, yet. Maybe in a couple of weeks. There are plenty of other mockingbirds around.
I’m very irritated, this morning, with Bill the Son and his entitled attitude. (I’d probably be irritated with Tom the Son, too, but he’s still in bed.)
It seems when you’re not feeling well, “normal” things become like nails on a chalkboard. They grates, Precious! We hates it!
Bill needs to move out and get married. Not is reverse order, or you’ll never get rid of him! LOL!
Also, Jake has an infection again. I’ll have to take him to the vet for an antibiotic shot tomorrow.
Poor Jake! How old is he now?
Frank’s age ... going on 7. But it’s not just the years: it’s the mileage!
It’s not life and death, like the last time when the coyote or whatever nearly ripped his throat out. The infected bite is on his shoulder. He’ll be okay until tomorrow, just miserable.
Morning. :)
Sigh
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