Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Hope you have a good night!
So do I!!! Thanks! See you tomorrow!
And on a note that is totally unrelated to anything, this bit of umm, breaking news.
Tipton T. Longcat eats pizza.
(Whether he really thought it was a suitable cat-munchie for real, or just ‘proving’ as only a Galactic Overlord can that I, his human was wrong when I assured him ‘Longcats don’t eat pizza’ I probably will never know for sure.)
Yes!
A takedown and body slam truly befitting a Galactic Overlord... ;-)
Do have to confess......I laughed.....loudly.
I mean, if you where that cat, um....Galactic overlord, would you. Oh, yeah.
:)
LoL, there is some truth in that too.
Our dog would put up with that, but the catz never would.
Good idea.
Small dogs make me nervous just by example.
Stephen Douglas: (eyeing Abraham Lincoln’s rather exceptional height) “Mister Lincoln, just how long should a man’s legs be?”
Abraham Lincoln: “Well, Mister Douglas, I reckon they ought to reach the ground.”
Kitteh overload this morning!
I’m up. It’s 66 degrees in here and 34 outside. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I was cold and clammy from the night sweats. *shudder*
Days like this, I think I’ll never be warm again.
The Truth is beginning to sound like The Force, something that permeates all things and moves through all things. Does that mean The Dark Side is The Stupid?
Every simple answer is a single direction. But every proper path is a winding journey.
30 degrees, NNW @ 4, 28%, wind chill 25
I need long johns!!!
I’m not certain if that’s really deep or really not.
I imagine the following two scenarios:
1) Take a young fruit tree. Put it in shadow near the light. As parts of the tree grow toward the light, shift the tree so it’s all in shadow again.
2) Take another young fruit tree. Put it in light.
I think in the first case you’d get a very interesting tree but not much fruit. In the second case you’d get a less interesting tree but more fruit.
I’ve often pondered this scenario when listening to sayings like “good questions are better than good answers” and so forth. While people aren’t trees, I think they still bear more fruit when they have knowledge (placed in the light) than curiosity (constantly looking for the light but never getting to it).
OK, there’s my ponder for the day. Share your thoughts?
Or don’t.
As I heard someone say in October, in reference to Scripture reading, you can “ponderize” that. Of course, it’s not a real word, but in this instance, it works.
Anybody?
OK!
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