Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Off to watch the Blanket Show!
See all y’all in the morning! ;o]
I don’t? That outfit can produce a lot methane gas. While info on cow fart seems plentiful I couldn’t find a sniff of data on horse.
Tell me about it. I had to move six igloos to have a parking space in my own driveway this week.
I shall pass your kind regards on to her, if she hasn’t already drifted through here.
The thread was about humans dressing up as animals....with my screen name i was expecting trouble. :)
Luck thing that Igloos are mounted on casters ,then. :)
A joke about blanket coverage of an event came to mind.
But it folded itself away during the development stages.
‘Night. :)
LOL!
The “dah” is humiliated, but will tolerate the chillren.
*groan*
Floofy squee!
VP Dick Cheney, born on this day in 1941.
Gene Hackman born this day in 1930.
I’ve been gathering info to see if I can pre-qualify to buy a house. Yes, already this morning.
And I think I need some coffee. I ran out of milk, so will have to get some a little later. The last few days before payday are always antsy and hard to tolerate.
It’s going to be windy all day...*sigh* There is a massive storm coming in off the Pacific, and it is sure the add more snow to Mt. Charleston and the Sheep Range.
I need to pick some brains, and yours seem to be the ones I trust.
If a person is fired from a job and is not in the union, does the union have to fight to have him reinstated? Is it a state thing or federal?
In my state, a person can be fired from any job for any reason, or for none.
I wouldn’t know about unions, having avoided union jobs as much as possible.
I’ve always considered a job to be pretty much a daily contract sort of thing. You can leave at any time, or be fired at any time.
Getting fired is nature’s way of telling you it’s time for a career change. It should be a good opportunity to start doing the things you want to do, rather than the things you’ve been required to do.
A person could also go back to school, in one way or another.
I don’t know. The person in question should call the shop steward at his place of work and ask.
It’s also Vlad’s birthday! Also Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Happy birthday, Vlad!
Thanks! I appreciate the input. :o]
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