ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[ArGee]

Go where?

[Monkey Face]

I need bananas and more pineapple but I can’t go to Walmart.

I don’t buy bread because I can’t eat it fast enough.

[Monkey Face]

Wherever the day takes me! :o]

[Monkey Face]

Martin Luther King Jr was born on this day in 1929.

So why isn’t THIS Black History Month?

Just axin’.

[ArGee]

Shouldn't it be Obama's birth month?

<ducking and running>

[Monkey Face]

Ovomit wasn’t born...he was hatched, like all buzzards are...

[Monkey Face]

Aww jeeze...Dan Haggerty died. That’s four in two days, plus two people I know personally.

That’s a lot to deal with...

[NoCmpromiz]

Well..

They finally made my birthday a national holiday.

But they named it after that guy who was 18 years older than I...

And they stuck it on a perpetual Monday.

I had to check with my Baby Sis to make sure i am still 34.. ;-)

[Slings and Arrows]

David Bowie certainly reincarnated quickly.

[Monkey Face]

So. Are you telling us by not telling us exactly, that your birthday might be on Monday? That would make you 34, wouldn’t it?

[Tax-chick]

Something that cute isn’t available every day.

[Monkey Face]

And that’s a fact, Jack!

[Tax-chick]

Jake has been ignoring me. I wonder what I did wrong.

[Tax-chick]

James and Kathleen’s birthday is Tuesday.

[Monkey Face]

The Dover Samples today include a Celtic coloring book. I’m going to print a couple of pages.

Maybe coloring will help...

[Tax-chick]

I printed some of those, too.

[moose07]

LoL!
A free pass to fuss and procrastinate......result! :D

[Tax-chick]

Evening. You’re up late!

[Monkey Face]

Sometimes, we need a free pass to do things we refrain from the rest of the time.

[moose07]

Evening.
Only 21:10h
Time for a cup of tea.
The reunion went well this afternoon. People i’ve not seen for a long time, good beer, Good Food, and pleasant surroundings that happen to be on the banks of the river Kennet.
The Ducks came and joined the party,which was nice.
There were 500 of us in there, the Pub was rammed to the rafters.