Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Who’s awake?
Well, I WAS going to ‘HA’ a 1200 post but someonee snuck in while I was posting a real post and THAT ONE became 1200.
Margle fargle bang a dang nab a dab rackin frackin.
Speaking of the River Ouse, why does the location “Sussex” always make me think of Elmer Fudd stammering when hoping his wife will be in the mood?
3. I guess nobody around here misses work much, do they?
They're not supposed to catch fire* either..
*Another obscure historical reference.. This time you figure it out. ;-)
It’s there. If you are using NoScript you need to temporarily allow all..
:0]
Just south of Oxford.
A sleepy little town who’s best attribute is the road out.
:-)
I remember when I lived in Omaha, Nebraska and they used to say, “The best thing to come out of Omaha was I-80.”
(And, just in case you haven’t heard, I is short for Interstate Highway.)
4. Can you tell me where the snack machine is? I just can’t get through the day without popcorn.
Ah. OK. I can look that up! South of Oxford...and I love the history in that old town!

And never, and I mean NEVER, burn the popcorn in the kitchenette next to the board room.
A word to the wise...
5. Oh, I can tell you your password.
Personal experience...? :)
If this twit keeps posting http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3377757/posts we might have a new home before we hit 1500 posts.
We got to the gas station, and then the 7 wouldn’t start. DP came and rescued us: it started for him, and he got it home to the garage. Sally and I went on our visit in the van!
Actually, I was the next person to try to pop microwave popcorn in that kitchenette after which I was told the story.
At least 20 times I was told the story.
Sheesh.
7s hate ethanol.
I figure that’s part of the problem. Also the fact that it hadn’t been out of the garage since like August.
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