Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob!
Can I try and procure a couple?
You know... For... Um... Research purposes?
http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2008
Fine by me. They don't seem practical, though.
I can see a lot of thought went into their design. But just how useful would they be, even if say, one were to implement a means of airborne "messaging" of more palpable bovine digestive products?
I would much prefer to have some real progress on our dragon concept. Now that would be practical flight! Not as fast perhaps, but with the carrying capacity of a mid-sized truck, and fueled by ordinary grass, who could say no to letting a dragon live in your backyard?
It’s OK. It turned out they didn’t put enough space on the file system. All those error messages were not giving me the root cause.
I used to love to munch on "The Honeymooners" although it was a little fatty. "I Love Lucy" was usually good for a quick snack but not a whole meal. "Perry Mason" did OK but it was a little chewy. My favorite were the spaghetti westerns, like "The Big Valley" and "Bonanza." Today's TV is much too insipid to make a meal of.
The computer reading my innermost thoughts as I type is probably a good thing. It can act as my conscience, since mine seems to have gone on walkabout.
:o]
Haha! I saw a prank of Facebook, where some guys decided to change their friend’s plumbing. The got a couple of kegs of beer, crawled under the house and literally tapped into the water pipes.
They were all supposed to come over to visit him and bring beer but they showed up with only the glasses. When the guy turned the kitchen tap on, beer came out.
But I guess you had to be there....
I think they said it was in New Zealand.
Is that real? It looks like an April fool’s joke, like spaghetti trees.
Awww...squeee!
I need the squee ~~ my sciatica is acting up again, and I need all the squee I can get.
This is the last time I let the boy take the longship out for a weekend raid.
Is that Richard Widmark on the right?
arrrghhh.... your link says img files suddenly disappeared. A zip file link is provided though.
GRAAAGH.
Oh well.
Is it talk like a pirate day? Did I miss it?
Arrrrrgh!
Nah..just some Brits dressed up...or maybe CGI.
You know, I think I'll take that Viking role next. Too damn claustrophobic in this can.
Whoops. Should have installed a bilge pump!
Sorry about the sciatica!
Back from Weight Watchers, on to the next thing. Probably more laundry ...
If there’s anything that truly amazes me about this world it’s how quickly it will revert to needing attention the moment you have things taken care of.
Whether it’s laundry or dusting or vacuuming or filling the fridge - nothing stays the way you want it for long.
Maybeif we would satisfy ourselves with wanting weeds in the garden and liars in Washington we’d get along better.
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