Posted on 08/03/2011 3:43:52 AM PDT by lowbridge
Return unused portion for refund. It’s the traditional safety net when a product fails to please or perform.
But should returns be allowed for adopted children?
The Tulsa World reports that parents Melissa and Tony Wescott want to return their 11 year-old adopted son to state custody because they say he had severe behavioral problems not disclosed prior to his 2007 adoption, including reactive detachment disorder, disruptive behavior disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and fetal alcohol syndrome.
The Wescotts say that soon after the adoption, the boy attacked a neighbor child with a board, killed and injured animals, began regularly running away, and hid butcher knives and lighters in his room. “He tried to burn our home down,” said Melissa Wescott. “The note read: ‘I’m sorry you had to die.’”
State documents described the child as “polite and well mannered.”
Because the Wescotts can’t afford the lengthy legal process of having the adoption “dissolved,” they are asking the state to enact a law allowing adoptive parents to return children under certain circumstances.
(Excerpt) Read more at responsibility-project.libertymutual.com ...
“Returning adopted kids - unthinkable?”
This is not just a “kid”, but a torturer, killer of animals and attempted murderer, for starters,
So are they supposed to keep him just to prove a point, or should we let the kid kill them and say “the system worked”.
I’d wager that if this kid was a product of their flesh and blood, they would wish they could return the child to the hospital they birthed him/her from too. =.=
Many ‘older’ children up for adoption have behavior and mental issues that go unrecognized and undocumented (sometimes just to get them out of the system). These stories seem to be more and more common, esp. with domestic adoptions. Such a shame.
Why not simply abort the child? Then we could all celebrate their right to choose.
Wow, it’s bad enough adopting an animal that doesn’t work out. I can’t imagine having an adopted kid that is a severe problem. Not sure what the solution is, but I definitely feel for the adoptive parents.
People don’t realize how dangerous this “attachment disorder” is; it’s not simply a failure to adjust and get along, but turns the child into a very violent psychopath.
It was very common among Russian adoptions, btw, probably because of the early treatment of these children while in the institutions, but also because some of them were possibly already damaged by conditions such as fetal alcohol syndrome. I was acquainted with a family who had adopted one of these children and eventually ended up spending every dime they had to pay for his permanent institutionalization because he was so dangerous (tried to kill the other children in the family, threatened to rape the mother, etc.).
I don’t know if they give any indication of this condition prior to their adoption, but it’s possible. Russian institutions were famous for never revealing the physical or mental health problems or background of the children they offered for adoption.
It sounds like he was about 8. There's no cure for fetal alcohol syndrome.
It's unconscionable for the adoption agency not to fully disclose a child's problems.
“Because the Wescotts can’t afford the lengthy legal process of having the adoption “dissolved,” they are asking the state to enact a law allowing adoptive parents to return children under certain circumstances.”
They think enacting a law like this won’t be a “lengthy process”?
If someone sold crystal balls that one could divine what their child will be or do throughout life, they’d be richer than Bill Gates, Soros, Buffett, etc.
A relative adopted one such “damaged goods” child, who proceeded to do the same things that this youngster did; however, he succeeded in burning the house down to the ground, the two family dogs dying in the fire. At age 16, he left home and subsequently served a lengthy jail term. He frequently torments and threatens his adoptive parents with middle-of-the night phone calls. They had wanted to return him when they discovered the danger signs, but by then it was too late.
I have four well put together adoptive kids. Adopted at birth, privately through and agency.
However dont think that for one minute that genetics and bio parent history is not a factor in adoption/
For the most part, those adopting a child or infant from the state are in for a lifetime of casework management. State kids are often from mentally ill parents. And the state lies about the child’s backgrounds. Years in adoptive support groups have made me very leery of state adoptions. I know a couple of people who have disrupted adoptions. Sad but necessary.
Should returns be allowed for sorry pres - - ents?
Can I have a 100% agreement with my statement?
I’m with you - liberal social workers lied about his condition - he needs more care than the average family can offer. They should return him ...
Kids come with warranties?
I worked with a woman in her early thirties who had been adopted, she was physically gorgeous, exceptionally intelligent and very capable on the job, doing things that most women didn’t want to touch because of physical demands and technical problems. She was also unreliable to the extreme, you never knew whether she would come to work or not and was finally let go because of her unreliability. One week she missed the night shift for which she was scheduled because she claimed to be sick. I worked the day shift the next day and was amazed to see her come in at eight in the morning to pick up her paycheck looking as if she just stepped off the cover of Vogue. She was wearing an evening dress, high heels and a ton of makeup.
I met her father once and he told me that he and his wife had adopted a boy and a girl, he said that when the adopted son enters a room it is like the sun rising, he radiates joy and happiness but the daughter with whom I worked was the exact opposite.
sort of like a psychological abortion.
She had the resources to seek out and get psychological care.
All the love they gave and still give the boy could not overcome the horrors he experienced prior to going into child services.
He is now in his late 20's and lives at a mental health center.
His folks visit often and when the doctors clear him, comes home for occasional weekend visits.
My friend is very knowledgeable and knew how to seek out the help the boy needed.
Can't say I fault this family. No one is being served by keeping the situation as it is. It is a tragedy waiting for front page headlines.
I don't read this story as a story about adoption.
I read this story as preliminary work toward the idea that since abortion is a basic right, and some people grow up to be nothing but trouble, then perhaps euthanasia is also a moral good for society. Perhaps death panels of one sort or another is a "basic moral good".
I'm totally cynical these days. Every news story I see, seems to be laying the groundwork for a horrific society They are planning to have in place twenty years from now.
Philip K. Dick wrote a story ("The Pre-persons") in which the abortion truck would roam neighborhoods. Up until the age of about 12, kids were vulnerable. If the parents were "displeased", they would call the truck and the "little problem" would be loaded in and dealt with.
I don't know if we will arrive at that destination, but I know we're on the road.
We clearly need more regulation and a lemon law for adopted children. Hold the birth parents accountable for their damage and make them work 3 jobs to pay for the child’s care in institutions.
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