Calif. man attempts self-surgery with butter knife

Associated Press ^ | July 26, 2011

[Free ThinkerNY]

GLENDALE, Calif. (AP) -- Police say a Southern California man stuck a butter knife into his belly in a failed bid at self-surgery to remove a painful hernia.

Glendale police Sgt. Tom Lorenz says officers called to the 63-year-old man's home Sunday night found him naked on an outside patio lounge chair with a 6-inch butter knife sticking out of his stomach.

[Jonty30]

A butterknife would seem to be an inefficient tool to use for self-serve operations.

[San Jacinto]

TTIWWP

[twhitak]

Welcome to Obamacare!

[RexBeach]

I hate it when that happens!

Why didn’t he use his apple corer?

[prairiebreeze]

He was undoubtedly driven to these extremes because he had no health insurance and this is why we need state sponsored healthcare.

(/ leftist response to article)

[6SJ7]

A butter knife? Everyone knows you should use a Ginsu Steak knife.

[Max in Utah]

"And now it's time for another episode of-- Samurai Self Surgeon!"

[ClearCase_guy]

Step #1) Anesthesia -- about a liter of bourbon will do nicely.
Step #2) Choose your surgical implement -- ummmmmm ... this ... this butter-knife will do nicely. Hic.
Step #3) Locate the bunion that has been troubling you -- ummmm ... it's in my belly, right? Okay ... here we go.

[treetopsandroofs]

Someone has their “remove” and “repair” verbs mixed up.... The reporter, or the Knifeman?

We call bad people who abuse guns “gunmen”....

[San Jacinto]

APPARENTLY THIS GUY WAS NOT AS STUPID AS IT SEEMS. HE KNEW HE HAD TO CAUDERIZE THE WOUND:--

While waiting for paramedics, the sergeant said, the man pulled out the knife and stuffed a cigarette he was smoking into the bleeding, open wound.

[GBA]

Whoa...too stupid to qualify for a Darwin Award.

[freedomlover]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEkT5uspE3c

Paging Dr Gumby!

[StormEye]

"Police say a Southern California man stuck a butter knife into his belly in a failed bid at self-surgery to remove a painful hernia."

Well, you don't "remove" a hernia. There's nothing to remove.
A hernia is repaired.

[sodpoodle]

Did he google WebMD?

http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/tc/inguinal-hernia-treatment-overview

Often an inguinal hernia can be pushed back, or reduced, into the abdomen with gentle pressure. In an adult, a hernia that can be pushed back can be surgically repaired at a convenient time. Surgery can be delayed for months.

[xrmusn]

A hernia is repaired
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
You can ‘repair’ an inguinal hernia with a short handled two pound sledge.

Just pound it back in place.

But you must use short strokes, overswing and you will definitely put yourself in a hurting...at least then the hernia won’t seem so bad.

[Tanniker Smith]

Didn’t work for House and he plays a professional on TV.

[Slings and Arrows]

Glendale police Sgt. Tom Lorenz says officers called to the 63-year-old man's home Sunday night found him naked on an outside patio lounge chair with a 6-inch butter knife sticking out of his stomach.

Idiot. Everyone knows you use a steak knife for home surgery.

[Joe 6-pack]

Certainly not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

[metmom]

He managed to actually make an incision with a butter knife?

Butter knives don’t even cut cold butter.