It Can be Hard Keeping a Straight Face as a COURT REPORTER

Email ^ | 7/10/11 | Email

[illiac]

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

[libertylover]

Thanks for the info. They still amaze me in that they have to get down quite a number of biglongmedicalterms, words that don’t roll of the tongues easily of most of us. I guess that’s part of the training too but it still seems hard.

[Erasmus]

Geez, that's a lot tougher than the code exam used to be for Extra Class amateurs. That was only 20 WPM.

≤}B^)

[CharlyFord]

There is no way that this exchange took place and there was a single straight face in the court.

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid

[grey_whiskers]

Q. That statement is a completely false statement. Whether or not Mr. Bennett knew of your relationship with Ms. Lewinsky, the statement that there was "no sex of any kind in any manner, shape or form, with President Clinton," was an utterly false statement. Is that correct?

A. It depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is. If the –if he – if "is" means is and never has been, that is not--- that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement.

[Daffynition]

>>;-P

[ishmac]

Ping

[ixtl]

I am a retired Texas attorney. We had a federal judge, Jerry Buchmeyer (I think I spelled that right) who had a regular column in the Texas Bar Journal in which he cited bloopers, errors, and just funny answers submitted to him by attorneys, court reporters and judges, from trials and depositions. As I remember, the column was called “Et Cetera.” He is gone now, but his legacy apparently lives on.

[TaMoDee]

My mother recorded medical testimony via stenotype in court cases. She was one of a very few that was certified to do that. As I remember she was very busy traveling throughout the state.

[SatinDoll]

She aided and abetted a client in attempting to commit insurance fraud. Her client? Barak H. Obama II.

Michelle Robinson was politically well connected to Rev. Jesse Jackson (his adopted son, Jesse Jackson, Jr,’s birth name is Robinson) and the Dailey political machine in Chicago.

She managed to avoid an indictment but her law license was suspended permanently.

[Daffynition]

Thanks for the info. I’m not particularly surprised.

[boop]

That last one is LEGENDARY in the medical field. Every doc I know loves it.

[Pollster1]

Very funny! (mark for later)

[ntnychik]

Need a laugh?