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VANITY: Things you can say to a TSA agent.
Me
Posted on 11/17/2010 4:41:14 PM PST by Sergio
I thought we would start a list of whitty things that we can say to groping TSA agents that we could get away with and still make them uncomfortable. I'll start with a few, I hope many more will be added.
1. The doctor says I shouldn't be contagious...awww what the heck, I'm willing to risk it.
2. How many times can I get searched before I have to to to my gate?
3. Scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...scabies and crabs...
4. Is tipping allowed?
5. (In a Homer Simpson looking at doughnuts voice) Hmmmmmmmmm...great pat down.
6. If you don't mind, please leave it pointing in the direction you found it.
Have at my FRiends!!!
TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Travel
KEYWORDS: napl; tsapervs
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To: TheConservativeParty
81
posted on
11/17/2010 10:01:00 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: dayglored
Robert Johnson, actually. “Travelling Riverside Blues.” Zep remade it as “The Lemon Song.”
82
posted on
11/17/2010 10:08:16 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: IncPen; Nailbiter
To: Sergio
- Do I at least get flowers, candy and dinner first?
- Will you still respect me in the morning?
- You won't tell my wife/husband will you?
84
posted on
11/17/2010 10:22:05 PM PST
by
jellybean
(Bookmark http://altfreerepublic.freeforums.org/index.php for when FR is down)
To: Sergio; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
"So, what do you tell your family that you do for a living?"
85
posted on
11/17/2010 10:59:04 PM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
>
Robert Johnson, actually. Travelling Riverside Blues. Zep remade it as The Lemon Song. Right you are, of course. Zep was notorious on their early albums for making uncredited use of classic blues lyrics and riffs. I referenced them rather than Johnson figuring that more people would have heard their cover than the original.
Wikipedia mentions that the line may not actually be original with Johnson:
...parts of Johnson's "Travelling Riverside Blues" are used as lyrics in Led Zeppelin's "The Lemon Song", namely the "squeeze my lemon" sequence. It is likely that Johnson borrowed this himself, from a song recorded in the same year (1937) called "She Squeezed My Lemon", by Roosevelt Sykes.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travelling_Riverside_Blues
86
posted on
11/17/2010 11:44:53 PM PST
by
dayglored
(Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
To: Slings and Arrows
87
posted on
11/18/2010 12:23:58 AM PST
by
dixiechick2000
("First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Gandhi)
To: Slings and Arrows
88
posted on
11/18/2010 12:25:18 AM PST
by
dixiechick2000
("First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Gandhi)
To: dayglored
Huh! Thanks - I didn’t know that!
Now I’m going to see if I can find a mp3 of the Sykes song.
89
posted on
11/18/2010 12:52:17 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: dixiechick2000
That guy’s management material.
90
posted on
11/18/2010 12:53:08 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Sergio
“Can I see your Green Card?”
91
posted on
11/18/2010 12:56:24 AM PST
by
BIGLOOK
(Keelhaul Congress!)
To: Sergio; Slings and Arrows
92
posted on
11/18/2010 7:08:55 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: Sergio; Slings and Arrows
And I see the ping is from you already.
It’s too early,......
93
posted on
11/18/2010 7:09:46 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: pandoraou812; BykrBayb
Ping to any who you think might enjoy this thread.
94
posted on
11/18/2010 7:13:25 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: Slings and Arrows
After this thread, next time I have to go through a search, I’ll probably start laughing uncontrollably.
95
posted on
11/18/2010 7:16:18 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: Sergio
Is it my turn yet?
When is it MY turn?
96
posted on
11/18/2010 7:43:18 AM PST
by
70th Division
(I love my country but fear my government!)
To: Slings and Arrows
Yesterday, we traveled from California through Texas to Florida. My wonderful DH (traveling on military orders, with a military-purchased ticket, carrying a military-issued passport and a military ID) was wearing his standard flight suit.
And, apparently, the TSA decided he needed lots and lots of extra scrutiny. (We both went through the full body scanners, by the way.) THEN my wonderful DH got a rather intimate pat-search on top of the full-body scan ... and then they decided to x-ray his boots (which were off) two EXTRA times (for a total of three x-rays.)
While he was going through this, the TSA people waved at least 3-4 adult males (casually dressed young men, civilians) through ... they went through the standard metal detector, but not the full body scan or the intimate pat down.
Hmmm... This took 33 minutes. I can only imagine what it will be like closer to Thanksgiving!
Unrelated YAY for American Airlines... they "comped" my $50 in baggage fees since he was on orders, and they upgraded us both to first class (which was wonderful but unexpected!)
97
posted on
11/18/2010 10:23:36 AM PST
by
PERKY2004
(Proud wife of a military pilot ~ Please pray for him (he's deployed!))
To: metmom
After this thread, next time I have to go through a search, Ill probably start laughing uncontrollably.If so, be sure to point at the agent's crotch.
98
posted on
11/18/2010 10:34:49 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: PERKY2004
These T(SA)urds need to learn to respect their betters.
99
posted on
11/18/2010 10:38:10 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Sergio
“Where do I leave the dollar without a dresser?”
100
posted on
11/19/2010 7:54:37 PM PST
by
Titan Magroyne
(What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.)
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